Monday, January 2, 2012

Man Cold

I have a DVD called Man Stroke Woman.  It’s damned funny and quite accurate, if not a little extreme, in depicting the differences to the way a man and woman think.  One of my favourite sketches from it is called “man cold”.   
Which you can see here: (and trust me, it’s worth it.)

I have had fourteen brain operations to insert/replace ventricular shunts.   The last time I had my shunt replaced was in 2009 and I took two weeks off work and returned with a severe undercut and another fantastic scar.   The guy I share an office with went off sick just after I got back and upon his return, found a large photo of my head complete with staples in the skin showing.  I had strategically positioned this on the wall between us with the words “woman cold” written underneath.  When he quizzed me, I mentioned that he had taken longer off for a cold, than I had for brain surgery.  The photo is still on the wall.
Am I just reminiscing?  Taking a trip down memory lane..?  No.  I am not.
The Squeeze has hay fever.
My God; you’d think he had lost a piece of lung with the carry on we have had for nearly two days.  Snuffling and sighing loudly.   Hay fever!!!  And because of it he can’t do anything!  His energy levels are sapped (what energy..?)   If I ask him to do anything I get more sighing as he adopts the look of a martyr before going off to pick up whatever he has left on the floor.
And he is expecting compassion from me; and I’d better keep it coming.  This from the man who wouldn’t know compassion or empathy if it jumped out of the water and bit him on the arse!
The upside of this is that he is off snuffling in the spare room while watching wrestling (yes, I’ve no idea what the whole greasy fat guys in speedo’s with mullets is about either…)  I’ve shut all the doors  since it is damned hot again and he is probably baking alive in the spare room.  In this heat, it won’t take long until he looks as slippery as his idols.

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Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!