The art of dating when you are in your 40’s is a perilous, soul destroying mission. I blame my misfortune with men on the 'fairy tale factor'... That never ending belief that love conquers all and that one day a prince will come.
Reality isn't even close to the fairy tale. Especially when the prince doesn’t just come with baggage – he comes with a bitter, money grubbing ex-wife clinging to his back like a hump.
Well I got dumped by Allan (Allan, Allan...) which is ok. I kept waiting to see if I would fall for him; or at least begin to fall. Other than for a second at the start, I basically felt nothing.
So I'm not going to look for a next one; well not yet anyway.
It's too hard and I get too tired. What with work and my business and now my board game and a course... There just isn't anything left over. When there is time left, I'd rather spend it with friends!
On Saturday I went to Melbourne and had lunch with CC. And a good laugh! Still, I always have a good laugh with her! Oh except we went and saw Jackie in the afternoon. It was good, but how I didn't go and kill myself is beyond me! Wow; depression!!!
Dinner was with the Hunchback (yes the one I started this blog about years ago...) We manage friends well. It's where we started after all...
By we, I mean Allan and I. We walked around all day which is funny if you think on it; since I'm allergic to seafood! But there was plenty to eat and buy! There were little stalls with everything you could imagine! From oil to spices to clothes and knives! Being a knife aficionado, means buying them whether I have a million of them or not; and I couldn't go past chili infused oil!
We listened to music for a while but it was a Taylor Swift thing and so the band played her all day.
Being sick of the music and the fifteen year old's who knew every word and proceed to sing in the crowd, we left. We walked up the road not really remembering where the car was but we figured it was on the main road.... We couldn't go past this little wine bar. I called Ian and Renee, who we ran into at the festival, and they came up. All was well until I dropped my chili oil :( It smashed and sent oil everywhere.
Last night, Allan called in for a beer and tidied
my roses. It wasn’t planned; well not longer than half an hour! He
only stayed for one beer, partly because I mentioned that I was expecting my
son lol. He left and Dylan arrived. I gave him some lunch to take
home and something I had printed out for him…
Then my daughter called via Facetime and walked us
through her new house. They haven’t got it how they want it yet but it is
getting there… I think they have made the right move because she looked
blissfully happy. I haven’t seen her look like that for a long time.
Tonight I have E and Renee coming for dinner.
All I have to do is put it on when I get home! I prepared it this
morning… So a pork belly and wine night! They don’t have a heap of
friends either since they only moved here a bit before I did. When we
were in Sydney, we decided we would catch up once a week and so this is the
Tomorrow, I have Dylan coming for tea; him being
the only kid of mine left that is within a 20 mile radius….
Friday I am going out for dinner with Maxine, a
cool dog owner. We have been chatting every time we meet walking our dogs
and so I thought I’d up the ante and ask her to dinner; seeing as how my
friends are limited here! It seems it is the case for her also because
she jumped at the chance! So we are doing dinner and some live music.
Then Saturday, I’ve got brunch with Allan…
I like him but last night he suggested he probably
wouldn’t have liked the old Carol. That shouldn’t phase me because I
actually wasn’t that fond of her either. It is hard work doing the depths
of despair to the dizzying highs that was my life. It was exhausting! I
like the more even me; the one with a dog! (I wouldn’t have had a dog because
the hair would make a mess)
Well so far today I got up early and walked the dog.
I suspect he’s missing Ally like crazy who used to
mollycoddle him no end… She couldn’t manage to be firm with him in a pink fit
and she was home all the time; so he got affection all day. I’m
trying… When I get home from work I park out the front, go in and get him
and take him to the oval to run off a bit of steam. He’s been inside and out to
the back yard all day. It must drive him mad… I’ve got a small back
Of course I’ll have to do better than yesterday. He
zipped out the gate and ran all over the place. I was scared of the road but he
just wouldn’t come… So I got in the car and opened the back door and slowly
started driving off and he jumped in! Tonight I'll position myself at the
opening and make sure every hole is blocked off!
My days are taking on a routine. When I get home from
playing with the dog, I’ll clean up (which generally consists of vacuuming the
dog hair in the rooms open to him); then I’ll do one thing… Either clean
windows, or fridge or some such thing. At the rate I’m going it will look
gleaming in no time! Then I’ll cook dinner and watch something!
Back when video's and video stores were all the rage, I hired Gone With The Wind and the guy behind the counter said "lady, you've had it the last 9 times out of ten! It's one of the movies I watch over and over...
Be still my beating heart... Clark Gable was to die for.
I say that in the way that I mention Hugh Jackman; from afar....
These days I have it in digital format so I don't have to do that embarrassing run to the video store!
I think I'm kind of seeing this guy, but it isn't in stone; it relatively new. In fact, I suggested we take our profiles down and he said no... (not like that, but it may as well been). So I said fine; I'll leave mine up too. Don't blame me if a Hugh Jackman comes along in the mean time!! (I am a double for Deborra-Lee Furness... Mind you, it couldn't be Vivian Lee or someone equally as beautiful but I'll take Debra. I mean she snagged Hugh Jackman!)
So the next day, I get someone else contact me. I figure what the heck... I left for Sydney not long after so there is no time to meet. But I liked him.
Anyway, I got back from Sydney last week and the first guy came for lunch on Saturday and stayed until after dinner. We got along great and so I asked him straight out; but he said he's not seeing anyone else. On that note, I contacted the other guy and said I'm sick... Ok. This is awkward. I'd better think...
But then the second guy reads my blog and sees that I've seen this first guy.
Well... Suffice to say when he sent me email 3 or 4 that said "you look pretty old and weathered and sly too boot and I can see fungus on you..." well I had had it by then!
It's Thursday. I've only worked 3 days this week; which is great.
No one is there, well except for 2 people, both of whom I like.
I've got an NDIS thing at 3 o'clock, which should be interesting. A whole heap of people trying to justify their existence. They give me funding; I don't know what for. That is what I hope to find out! Still the whole time I'm there, I'll be thinking about being at home and cleaning. I've got a bucket to do! I'll be happy to make the spare bed! And pretty everything; maybe wash the floor.
I've got my kid coming for dinner tonight.
The only one that still lives in the same town now!
My daughter left to move two states away; sunny Queensland. I'll miss her like crazy, even though I love my house clean! Well it is sort of clean. I'm going room by room cleaning. So far, I've done the bathroom and her bedroom! I haven't really cleaned it for months...
But she needs a life. Nearly thirty and still living with me... I said to her make sure she changes things. Don't go up there and live the same life.
It will be good for her.
Me... I'm just moseying though life at the minute. My brain is doing plasticity or some such thing. I couldn't think about anything two years ago. Now I'm thinking as I always did. Just not conversing well...
Next, I'll have to get a job I expect. That will be harder than it seems since my mouth and my brain don't connect all the time! But I'll leave that until next month!
Only a few times did I feel like I was stupid, or couldn't keep up. It was 30+ every day and so we went swimming! Everyday! Sometimes 2 or 3 times. So... I'm sitting here tanned, which is nice. I am also sitting here fat, which is not nice. So I'm starting a diet on Wednesday, which is the day my daughter leaves for QLD!
I decided to put a pic in of Morgan, their dog; and the back yard!