Wednesday, January 18, 2012

In The Thick of It

Yesterday, I received notification that my blog had received another email.  My initial reaction to this was a brief bout of anger combined with muttering “that’s it!  I’m going to remove the ability for others to leave any damned comments.  Where do these people get off?  This is my platform; my arena to vent!”  I was pleasantly surprised to discover instead, words of support.
Someone else out there is living the dream.  And after I digested this and went to her blog, I realised there are many out there – all living the dream.  There are more ‘wicked step mothers’ than you can poke a stick at!
I find this comforting in some small way.  More so because I realise that my blog and my endless rantings are more about the Harridan and how she impacts the relationship; or the Moodle and his lack of reaction (which is totally confounding); also impact it. 
Yet looking at other blogs, they most certainly have issues with the controlling, nut job ex wives, but they also have issues with the kids.   There were plenty of blogs out there with the word step-mother in there and most had wicked incorporated into it in some way… Well, isn’t that just the icing on the cake!
But then I wondered if I could ever love anyone enough to be copping it on all fronts…  Not only the vile, demanding ex-wife or the Moodle partner, but kids that hate you and set about making your life a living hell…  And I suspect the answer to that, is no.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I live in a kid issue-free environment.  I don’t.  Kid 3 and his lack of hygiene is quite literally going to drive me around the twist.  That damned Moodle that I live with, who refuses to admit there even is a hygiene issue (ummm yeah; that’s going to work…) makes it worse. 
I mean the implication of there being no ‘real’ issue means that I’m just inventing problems to be mean to the kid. (aka wicked step mother style…)  And I don’t quite get his thinking on that, since one of my main arguments on the topic is that this kid is about to start at a new school and if this isn’t rectified prior, he can kiss goodbye any social life from here on in.
We got as far last night as him admitting that while out for coffee last weekend, he had in fact, noticed how dirty the kid’s clothes and hair were…  But he couldn’t smell anything.  (Yeah... whatever…) but then he went on the defensive and attacked me – because when I blog, it is his kids that make the cut – not mine.
I had to explain to the idiot that the blog is called ‘Dating a Hunchback’. 
It is a blog about our relationship and the things that impact on that relationship.  His idiocy.  His Moodleness.  The Harridan’s mental instability.  The injustice.  The rape and pillage on his finances.  The kid coming in filthy clothes with little to change in to. 
I quite confidently mentioned that my kids don’t make the blog very often because they don’t live at home and as a general rule, don’t impact on our relationship.  On the times they have, like when Kid 1 of mine was stuck overseas and had us traipsing to the scary part of town in the middle of the night to do Western Union money transfers… Multiple times – you can bet your arse it made the blog!  Or when the daughter moved in with some muppet not fit to lick her boots – you guessed it…  Blog.
At this point, the fool said “well my kids don’t impact on the relationship either.’ 
And that has to be the most stupid thing that has ever come out of his mouth; and that is a tough call to make, because there have been some doozies! 
Are you out of your ever living mind???  I have a teenager in the house every second weekend!!!  I’m back to thinking of kid entertainment…  Suddenly, I’m tiptoeing around my home; trying desperately not to whine and nag about leaving a mess or washing your hands.  I’m careful about making sure there is an appropriate amount of “bonding time”.  Hell, we are about to holiday with the teenager!  How the hell does that not impact me???? 
And then we have the realities of life – in that he loses a substantial amount of his pay to support this kid.  There are no financial obligations for mine.   And given his age, it means that there is a constant stream of interruptions from the Harridan (less now than at the start, thank God) and not a peep from my side.  I would imagine I’d have heard from my ex all of 10 times in the last 5 years.
And given that the kid is approaching fifteen, means that there is still years of it to come!  How on Earth will I cope without stabbing someone???
Then this morning I received another lovely email from the wicked step mother who said that she hasn’t had the strength to write as they are still in the thick of it all…
And that made me feel sad, because I suspect in the “thick of it all”, is where we all stay…  That is the reality of the step family.

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Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!