Tuesday, August 2, 2011

A Tissue; A Tissue; We All Fall Down!

Well I’m off work today - sick.  Sucks really because I hate it when you are really sick; seems a waste of sick day!  Upside is I don’t feel really awful, but I did wake up with zip in the way of balance.

Mostly, It’s like I’ve been drinking all night; where as in fact, the opposite is true since I had a rare alcohol free night.  

Walking requires the additional aid of putting out my hands to navigate every wall, table or chair and there is very little grace to my gait; it is suddenly just an irregular stagger.  Yes, half smashed would describe it well, except I don’t have to squint one eye shut to help me see straight.

Inner ear infection I can handle; but I have a bloody good imagination so it has moved on to a stroke within the last hour.  Next I’ll have bubonic plague I’m sure – thus the title.  Of course I don’t have heavy breathing, continuous blood vomiting, urination of blood, aching limbs, coughing, and extreme pain and there is no gaggle of kids singing a nursery rhyme because they’ve had to fill their pockets with roses to combat the smell of my rotting flesh before I fall down dead.

My doctor has hysterics over my penchant to talk myself into symptoms and will agree I could talk myself into an amputation, forget phantom pregnancy!  Still, I have had fourteen brain operations so I’m generally wary with anything that may signal ‘you are about to get your head shaved again’.

I’m okay in having the day off with a bit of dizziness; but I have an interview tomorrow.  So I had intended to take the day off as sick then and so that is all working to the plan but I need to get rid of it quick smart.  Staggering into an interview in what I suggest may be slurry and half witted, probably means I should cross that one off my list before I even get there!

I had to pick a doctor that is only two blocks down (even I can stagger there without killing myself).  Trouble is that a new doctor means they have no history!  I won’t be able to laugh with them about the time she gave me Viagra for an old boyfriend to try on a trip away; and they won’t know about my brain issue.

Stupid new doctors.  Ruin everything.

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Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!