Monday, August 22, 2011

Double Income!!!

When I sit down to write, I don’t actually think about the words I’m going to say.  I have a feel for what I’ll talk about, which is generally covered in the heading.  But instead of words floating through my head, it’s kind of like everything I’m thinking has the voice of the narrator in the Wonder Years.  Weird; which is neither here nor there…  Just an observation.

We are all different.  I’m a brunette, quite tall, blue green eyes.  The Squeeze is relatively short, blue eyes with fairish brown hair.  The harridan is short, kind of squat with short spiky hair.  If this paints a picture of differences, that’s good.  If not, well picture that in clothes sense, I prefer a more tailored look.  The Squeeze is a Levi’s and t-shirt kind of guy.  The Harridan is all flowing, colourful, hippy style.

Still… Even though we are miles apart in some things, you like to think that the basics are similar.  That tiny something that makes us all part of the human race is analogous.  Not so it would appear; and somewhat strangely, this didn’t shock me.

The Squeeze rolls off to soccer on Saturday returns home with Kid 3 in tow.  Although I’d generally cringe at the thought of the techno hell I’m about to endure, I was pretty vague about it all since I woke with a headache that continued into yesterday.

I had put down my foot and we had argued over the “on the fly” plans for Sunday but I was waiting to see what would happen.  Either Kid 2 would pull out of the deal, in which case I was going to say “no ifs or buts get your arses in the car” and drag them with me; or the Harridan would throw something out of left field.

It was of course the Harridan who decided while we were on our way to Kid 2, that we should instead drop him at a birthday party where upon at the conclusion, someone would drop him back to Kid 2’s to spend the night and today, the Squeeze would drive from one side of town to the other, pick him up and then take him to velvet land.  (Obviously she has a bone in her leg or a stick up her arse, either way, she couldn’t do it).

The birthday party was obviously on the fly, since we didn't hear about it until the death knell and considering it was her sister's brat, than I'd have figured she'd have known about it.  Must be a lot of work, all that scheming to be as disruptive as possible...

So we drop the kid off and continue down the highway and now that the kid has gone, I ask if while at soccer, she raised “the discussion” again.  It’s quite amusing really, seeing how many times she will say “we need to have a discussion”, his reply of “send me an agenda or there is no discussion” – and they just keep going around and around.  No agenda arrives.

But… she points out she’s raised the agenda before.  Kid 1, the 25 yo non biological kid – has doctors’ bills that the Squeeze should pay. (Why doesn’t she try that one on biological dad..?) And Kid 2 has thousands of dollars of speeding/red light fines that he needs to pay (yes people, she is obviously too stupid to understand the art of “learn from your mistakes”) both of these have been up previously and were shot down with “I’ve done enough; they are adults.  They can pay it and stand on their own two feet!”   The third money grab is for Kid 3 who is pushed to do 3 private saxophone lessons a week.  Now ‘they’ want piano lessons – but not relinquish the sax.  Sheesh, she’s not much for ‘live within your means…’ 

This may work if a:  she was rich and b: they didn’t live in a tiny gingerbread house and c: he actually had a damned piano or even d: the Squeeze could afford the never ending list of requests to fund her requirement for an artist/musician in the family… (Personally, I hope the kid turns banker…)

And so to fend off that request, because that whole discussion prior to us moving in together around “this is maintenance and it is to cover everything except the school fees, uniforms and health insurance that I pay; so manage it, don’t ask for more because I don’t have it…” obviously doesn’t sink in.

So he says “I don’t have any money and I can’t give you anymore.” To which she says… “Of course you have now you’re on a double income!!!”

Ta da!  And there it is.  Exactly what I would have imagined some total waste of freaking space money grabber would say.  ‘Double Income.’

Ahhhh actually Harridan; he is not on a double income.  He is on one income. I am on my own income.  Neither of which you control.  Pfffttt.

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Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!