Wednesday, August 31, 2011
It’s a great concept huh? Moving forward; advancement; progression… If you go so far as to look it up on dictionary.com, you find that it means ‘gain’ or ‘improvement’.
Well; there is certainly no improvement in the financial ledger that is ‘the Squeeze’, nor advancement in shutting down the illogical and constant demands that the Harridan throws out of left field.
Therefore, having said that; it becomes rather startlingly obvious that neither one of them has transitioned into: ‘moved on’.
So, my quandary is, how do I help the Moodle understand that moving on means a win for us and our relationship? Setting rules in place and having the Harridan live and stand on her own two feet also allows us to do things like think about buying a house or doing those really weird things that couples sometimes do… Ie: go out on a date every so often.
I’m not saying that addressing it is easy. Trust me; I know damned well it’s not. Having any conversation with her that encompasses the word “no” is literally like talking to a mannequin. It does not penetrate and even if it did, there isn’t anything in there to grasp the meaning. There is zip moral compass ringing in her head.
And I guess it is difficult coming to the realisation that someone you once loved enough to marry and have children with, basically wishes you were dead. At the very least, she couldn’t give a rat’s bum if he starved to death and lived out of a shoe box as long as he pays (and pays, and pays, and pays…)
So it becomes a little war. How much of an opinion should I have..? (I'm still awaiting a reply to my email this morning pointing out the benefits of telling her to screw herself sideways with a pogo stick...)
From my perspective, I can say that if I have 'no say'… If this is a “between her and I” thing with no consideration to an "us" thing, then that position would encompass a range of domino effects on our relationship. After all, it is ‘we’ now; living together, thinking about buying a house. To me, that means we are in the centre and the rest of the world on the peripheral – including her.
Firstly, I now have a financial investment in our life. And I want to know when a thousand bucks for saxophone lessons is going to squirrel off into the great waste land.
Before anyone reading this sole entry emails me to say that all kids should be able to play an instrument, I will agree; wholeheartedly. They should. But I don’t believe in pushing 3 or 4 private lessons a week onto the kid. Other than the fact that neither of them can afford it, I am just not seeing it as his desire. It is her velvet-wearer aspiration; the never ending search for a musician or artist in her litter. The Squeeze contributes both financially and in his role as a father – as he should. He is paying approximately 1/3rd of his wage – not bad for one kid as far as I’m concerned.
My evidence re the sax is based on fact. It was banished to remain in the car on ‘our’ weekends, given that he has never, not once, dragged it out of the case. The only attention it ever received while inside, was to put a large dent in my wall when I tried to brush the cobwebs from it.
And then we have the school concert that caused her to whine and condemn the school for not giving him a big enough part. Hello! He looked uncomfortable at best up there and there were all these other kids, singing and dancing like they were on Australia’s Got Talent! Get your damned rosed coloured glass off your face! Be like Keith Richard – never without a guitar in his hand while growing up – then I’m all for the Squeeze paying the excessive tuition!
So… The debate and argument is quite easy to understand in my head. I would have to ‘not love him’ to sit by and watch this leech continue to suck him dry – in which case, why the hell would I be in the relationship? Because in case you missed it, I’m not exactly winning in the romance stakes or in getting groovy presents…
I for one will be very interested to see how it turns out. Will he stick to his guns? Will he pay and confess and put up with me going ballistic? Or will he pay and then lie to me?
I am not doing lying again. He has had his one shot at that.
Pay and tell… Then I have no choice but to shut down the ‘house’ idea and start putting what I would have paid, into my super. I have no choice, I’d be stupid to tie myself up for a combined loan that he can’t service; and I’m not stupid.
Stick to his guns? Ha! I haven’t had to think about that previously…
Posted by Mistress at 11:07 AM