Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Sounds of Silence

After I brooded for hours on end last night, I downed several glasses of red and then went to bed.  I awoke and… you guessed it; felt absolutely hideous.  More importantly, I am still damned hurt and angry. 
Angry because I am tired of having no opinion and fed up with some nut job ruling my life/house/relationship/time.  Hurt because I suspect the Moodle lied to me on Monday night.  The 202 klm drive was not due to Kid 2 forgetting work.  It was of course, something to do with the Harridan.  Something she had booked or planned that the kid had to come back for.
Of course the Squeeze denies this, but with 3 ex-husbands and a few boyfriends over the course of my life, I’ve learned to trust my gut every time.  And my gut says he lied.  This is disappointing; more so than all the other disappointments.  For if he has to lie to me, rather than telling her to arrange things herself… well we don’t really have a relationship, do we.
So anger and lying has meant that it is the sounds of silence at my place.  And I can't see that changing any time soon.
Given that I can usually talk underwater with a mouthful of marbles, the fact that I have barely uttered two words to him since shouting ‘just bloody go’; should be an indication of where I am at.  But the reality is that I’d rather live with a thief than a liar.  At least then I’d know to put my wallet away!  I truly hate liars, so the realisation that he would rather lie to me than fix the issue, is disturbing.
As for the anger… It seems that even if we had of been going out last night, I’d have been dumped; which is astounding.  How can I live a life like that, with no plans.?  It really just makes me shake my head in wonder and question myself as to what I am getting out of this relationship…  And I’m just going to come right out and say it – not fricking much to be honest.
The funny part is that it wasn’t as if it was an emergency.  The kid wasn’t stuck somewhere or lost.  This is the Harridan having a revelation that this is a “good opportunity for kid 3, to spend time with kid 1”. 
And out of that, the Moodle has to spend 2 hours making it happen.
I seriously just don’t get it.  I don’t understand why he doesn’t say “you organise it, you make it happen…!!!”  All I know is that I do 100% of the washing and ironing, 90% of the cleaning, 70% of the cooking and yet the wife is still the wife and I… well hell, it would seem that I don’t even get to have an opinion – thus the lying and the notification when it is too late to have an opinion (both of which I consider cowardly in the extreme.)
Until he learns to treat me as his partner, I will treat him the same.  Way down the food chain.
So I guess he had better work out how to turn the iron on…  Because it won’t take long before he runs out of shirts.

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Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!