It is bloody hot...

I hate the heat.  I hate the cold too; in fact I'd rather have the heat!

I have my NDIA meeting tonight; which I hope means I can start my hyperbaric chamber again!  I'm not sure what I have to do; keep records I guess!  But that is the only thing I've tried that worked; ever so slightly!

Other than that, just culling my things in preparation for Ally's this weekend!  She has a house and not a lot to go in it furniture wise.  Still it won't take long!

On a side note: is it just me or are all women crazy for Jamie Fraser in Outlander?

He's not perfect; but that he isn't flawless just adds to his overall appeal!  It is his personality that does it for me... As Claire said to him in one episode; if you said that among 20th century women, you would be the king of men...  He is the King of Men!

And that Scottish brogue...   Be still my beating heart!!  I'm alive again!

Hey... That's cool...

This week I got a rather pleasant surprise... I've been granted funding by the NDIA to work on my brain/memory issue and get a gardener.

Ok; you're probably wondering what the Hell I need a gardener for and I'll admit that last year, so did I.  But working, even part time, is hard work!  Then to come home and garden...  So taking into consideration that I'm looking for a real job, with real hours; well suffice to say I'll be buggered for the first couple of months.  So I thought it was better to apply for the funding and that way if I got it, great.  If I didn't, well Hell, I'm used to doing everything the hard way anyhow...

She just rang me to say my funding has been approved so I'm going to meet up with her tomorrow and go over how much I got and what I have to do with it.  I think this time they are giving it to me to manage; I didn't want to do that as it would be so easy just to go on a holiday lol but self manage I have to!  The hyperbaric chamber - the only thing that has helped me, they got antsy about the last time...

And yes... I got a lawn mower guy!  Yippee!!

Home again...

I got home yesterday and basically went to bed.  It was exhausting; I'm not sure why since we went no where and did nothing!  About all we did was watch television!

We went to the hospital because the ex-squeeze's brother is in there; he had a heart attack.  That is their dicky gene, the heart... And it seems everyone got it!  The Ex's heart gave out before we started dating, but it seems all fixed now.  I guess the heart isn't too bad if you only have to have it done once or twice...

Then we went out for lunch in Oakleigh before coming home and throwing our shoes and bag and jumping on the couch to watch something...  I watched Outlander; I don't mind admitting I'm hooked now.  I tried to watch it last year and got half way through the second episode and thought "This is like a giant Mills and Boon!!!"  My sister told me to try again,... So I did. I'm nearly finished season 3.

But I wanted to put some pics of the Ex's house up because no one would believe me... So this is some of the inside; don't worry, the outside is just as bad!
My God...  I stress if I haven't vacuumed for a day!

 

Stone the crows...

It’s the weekend. I’m at the Hunchbacks house for the night.
Not sure who does his housework but....

Friday again...

It must be me... All the days seem to be flying past so quickly!  At this rate, I'll be dead before I know it!  And what then..?  No life after death; I'm pretty certain; as when I was in a coma and almost dead, I just had no memory of anything. No angels, no devils - just a great nothingness...

So this is all we have.

Enjoy what we have..? How the hell do you do that with no money?  Well not enough to do the things I would enjoy such as living in Greece for a while or travelling to some place fantastic!  I don't need to be rich, I just need enough to do what I want, when I want.  Oh yeah. That is rich....

But the simplistic things in life are good too.

This morning I took Sharpie on his walk and as we were going around the cemetery, I looked up and I saw a double rainbow.  It looked like someone had sliced through the sky.  Or the seams had given way.

Life... The same...

Is it just me?  Every day seems to run into the next without anything good happening...  I've had my share of bad luck ever since I was a little kid; but now it seems as though this is just the way it is and will be until the end.  I guess I have to suck it up...  Sheez; this sure as hell 'aint what I was expecting in life.

It is fast approaching Christmas so I won't really be job hunting until next year.  It will be great to take a mini break as it sucks the life right out of you.  God knows how I'd cope if I was desperate...  In this interveiw I had the other week, I got feedback from someone I knew who went and asked them.  They said I seemed "hard". 

WTF?  I cry at a puppy limping!  I ran out and rescued a bird the other day that was lying on the ground stunned!  Sharpie, my dog, I have to bring inside for cuddles!  Hard..?  But it is feedback... And I'll be aware of coming off as such next time!

Mind you, the Hunchback that I used to go out with was amazed... He thought I was a hard arsed bitch; then we went out together and he would laugh because I cry at movies!  So I was misleading as a hard face... In effect; what that means is that I'm coming back!  Ok... That's good.

But... Sigh... I can't help wondering what if I die before I really get a life?

Wedding... Over finally!

Well I can't believe the wedding went off without a hitch; well only one large scrape down the back of my leg and a dose of exhaustion!

It was beautiful but in a relaxed way...  Well relaxing for me; by the look on my brother's face he had some nerves eating him alive whilst standing up at the alter (which was the grass up the back overlooking the water)....

I only had a few tears, unlike my sister who complete with howling at one point during the ceremony, caused the place to burst out laughing.

I can't believe so much money, and so much organisation went into it...  I'd rather have the money and go off on holiday; especially since my brother has done this several times before!   Still, I have to admire his choices.  He is obviously in love and it showed...

Amusing was my nieces speech... which finished with "I was beginning to wonder who would wipe his ass when he got old!" which cracked everyone up!

I'll put some pics up if I think of it tonight!

My sister July, brother and groom Chris and I!

Sydney...

I’m having coffee in this cute little cafe which you go down a side street and up an alley way...  they must rely on their clientele to know where they are because there was zip signage!

I got here last night and went out for dinner with my brother and two sisters and had a great time. Italian; yum! Then it was back to the hotel to sleep like the dead. I was okay; everyone else was damned tired too so I didn’t feel as though I was putting a dampener on things!

We’ve got a wedding to do and then, tomorrow it’s home again. 

Sydney! Here I come!

Today I’m flying to Sydney to see my brother get married for  the third time. I’m not sure why my brothers and I feel the overwhelming need to get married. We just do; or should I say did.  I haven’t been married since I was twenty eight! Although that was the third time,.. I guess he’s lucky to have made it to fifty three!

All I can say is I hope that this time it works out for him...

WTF? Too old..?

Ok.  I'm in job hunting mode which is to say I'm not frantic, but I am beginning to worry.  I have 2 years left of wage insurance but I don't want to be on it. I want a normal life!  I want to go to work and have friends there; change the world!  I suspect I'm being overlooked because of my age... I don't get it.

I went to my wellness guy last night.  He is employed by some company that helps the intellectually disabled (lol) to do their thing, complete their NDIA reports and such.  So it is time to go and reapply for funding...  Sigh!

Last year I did it too, filling out the form meticulously.  They state quite plainly at the top to put what it is you want to achieve.  I put "I want to improve my speech and memory issues". 
That's it.  Blunt.  To the point.

And in their infinite wisdom, they gave me a gardener and a housekeeper?  WTF..?

So I went back to them, twice, and did it all again.  No go.  I'm stuck with the gardener (which I don't mind not doing the lawns) but it will be over my cold dead corpse before I get someone in to clean!!

So this time I put on the list that I want money to go to a hyperbaric chamber...  A friend text me one morning and said "Triple J; quick put it on!" and it was a neurosurgeon in the States who had repaired brain damage with the use of oxygen therapy.  Granted; it was a kid under 5 and they got to her within a week but....

I've been going to one at Confidere and Co  and makes me think in straighter lines... I think...  :)

I also put art classes and pottery! lol because that gets me back into the social aspect of life!

Cinderella and the Ball...

I went to a ball in Friday night...  Blue hair and all.  It was themed around the world and considering I love fancy dress nights; excelled at last years roaring 20's... I didn't get anything this year and by the time I wanted to, it was too late.

If it had of been roaring 20's again I could have easily got one of 4 different costumes out of my wardrobe, complete with a feather boa and cigarette holder!  So it meant I had to go as France, and dress in black and put a beret on and my Chanel necklace and a groovy cigarette holder.

I could have done around the world in 80 days, or something like that... But I wasn't really into it... Until I got there!  Then I was into it!

I love the end pic... My brother in the background lol and my photo bomb in the first.

All in all, a great night was had by all; but yesterday was a right off for me. I went to bed at 10.30 and had another alcohol free night. I could get used to them...

Blue hair...

God... All the old ladies with blue hair must be rolling over in their graves... Why? I went to the hair dresser yesterday after a major stuff up with my hair.  I'm talking it went yellow and yellow isn't a good colour on me. It makes me appear to have hepatitis.  I look like I'm about to drop dead my skin appears so sallow!

I went in and looked at her with puppy dog eyes, saying "can you fix me..?" So she got to work...

2 rinses later with stuff that itched my scalp and felt like a million bull ants were eating me, I just couldn't see that it was going to be fixed! It was still yellow!!

All I can say is it looks ok!  So what if I appear as an old lady! I am one!

:)

I won...

I won; not 150k like one lucky punter!  But $88 is better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick!

Of course I've spent it already at the supermarket because my son decided to come for dinner tonight...

:)

Melbourne Cup...

Well I never win anything on the cup, even though I back nearly every horse in triffecta's and such.  It is always won by something that the name didn't jump out at me!  I wonder if I'll win anything this time!  2,5,20,22 I went for; but it could be anything or any bloody horse on the day! 

I'm not going; actually, I could think of nothing worse in the cold rainy weather!  Instead I'm going to work and we'll watch it on the big screen!

Other than that, diet is still going well. I haven't found a costume for Around the World ball that I'm going to.  I think I'll just dress all in black with a Chanel necklace and a cigarette holder (even though I don't smoke lol) and be a Frenchy!

My knee...

My knee is starting to improve.  It is only giving out on me 1-2 times a day now.
Great... That means I have to go on a diet starting today.  :(

I pigged out on the weekend big time but I managed to off load some of those bloody yummy addictive Bertie Beetles to my daughter (thank God!)  Not sure why we have to diet all the time to keep it on track!  I weigh myself about once a fortnight, although I can tell before I jump on the scales, whether I'm going to be depressed or not.  This time, I didn't weigh.  I'm not going down the path of being a crying lump on the floor.  I'm going to do something about it...

I've got my brothers wedding in 2 weeks. I'm flying off to Sydney for it and I figure as long as I'm careful until then, I'll be alright.  I have my dress, my shoes, everything is ready (except my butt [not exactly my butt, I don't possess one which sucks])  Suffice to say, I don't have that much to loose; about 4-5 kilo.  I'm never going to be thin and you get to the point where you are too old to be thin in any case...

All in all, a boring nothing weekend where I went nowhere, only saw my daughter and spent the rest of the time inside because it was cold and miserable out there.  Maybe it was cold and miserable in here, I'm not sure now.

Oh; I've given up drinking.... the weight thing.  Well mostly.  It has been 3 out of the last four nights and I don't miss it; unless I see them drinking on television and I think "hey!"

No work… No anything… Zilch

My house is a mess at the moment.  My garden is looking scraggly.  I’m gaining weight (it has nothing to do with the box of Bertie Beetles I bought!!)  The dog, Sharpie, has been naughty (naughtier than usual; so much for leaving puppyhood behind him!!) 

It all started when I was walking Sharpie. He went one way to chase a bird (nearly pulling my arm from the socket) and I went in another direction…  I hurt my knee.  That was two weeks ago and I’m still not back to walking the full distance!  I'm wearing a splint; it is getting better but it is a slow process.  And it isn’t just that.  It is mixture of crap luck and bullshit life.

Why?  Because there is no nice weather; it’s downright cold…  Because I have no real job; because I’m hooked on a game.

There.  I said it.  I’m hooked on online gambling.  Well not really; I don’t play with my money but the free spins they give me, so it literally means I can’t take it out.  I don’t get it; it isn’t even fun!! I get sick of it in a couple of weeks; that's the only light and the end of the tunnel!

And this weekend sees my daughter coming to visit so I’m hoping I’m over the game by then and we'll eat homemade pizza and Bertie Beetles and watch tele!