Clean Up Time - Again

I awoke to a messy, but silent house this morning.  The worst part was that I felt, along with the serenity, a measure of guilt, because I’m pretty sure that the Squeeze had a lot of running around to do this morning… I mean unlike the old days when it took him an hour to get to work across Melbourne through the never-ending traffic, now it takes him a leisurely 15-minute journey; and that's with stopping on the way to grab a coffee.

I came across the speech I wrote for my Dad’s 80^th birthday, which I sat and read and then proceeded to cry. I had written some damned funny lines in it, but still, it sucked. Worse still, with the writing I got stuck travelling down memory lane. I remembered just how much it sucked to be a teenager and it really hasn’t got much better as an adult. You are still at the mercy of everyone who has more than you.

More brains. More money. More everything.

It sucks really because I find, generally, they are the worst of humanity… Oh where is the alien invasion already! Something is coming… The end of the world. I don’t know why but I feel like something is coming. Something big. It maybe war; those Iranian leaders appear to want to wrestle. And maybe that’s it. Put Iran’s Supreme Leader and Trump in wresting gear and get them to fight it out! (Oh God… The image. My eyes!!)

But I got off on a tangent… Enjoying the little story in my head...

I’m not exactly flush with cash most of the time. My brains not what it once was (bloody brain damage) but it is a lot better. You can tell, I’m blogging again. I’m writing… I have my website up and working… But still, about 80% of the world is smarter than me and possibly richer.

Unless I win tattslotto; but that has never been a fabulous plan to wait for  :)

Brooding over life...

Okay, I haven't exactly been sitting awake all night and brooding about life, although it is 2.50 am here in Geelong and I’m still awake. I like the old brain damaged version of me better. The one that got into bed and was out like a light five seconds later! My brain was so busy working on itself that I didn’t have time to dream. I still don’t, which I miss. I used to have the most realistic, full technicolor dreams where upon awaking, I would think for the first ten minutes that it had really happened! Which is funny I guess, given I usually dreamed of vampires or some such thing.

I'm having a sleepless night where work (or the lack of) is spinning around in my head, which turns to God knows what.   I’m like Alice down the rabbit hole! Everything leads to nothing which leads to the fanciful. Boy, if I could map it out…

Then I update my Words With Friends with my sister who is sleepless in another town...  Then I sleep for what feels like 8.4 seconds before I'm awake again.  It's a vicious cycle that escalates stress as the clock ticks forward and the hours until my damned alarm goes off.

At least now I can switch it off and go back to sleep… Where upon my mind tosses and turns again!

At about 4 am, I checked email and discovered a comment on my blog.  I have no idea if I have a fan base that consists of more than my family and close friends.  I don't even think they read it; just follow.  I do average a good 150+ hits a night which sometimes astounds me.  If I fell on this website while surfing one night, I'd probably make a snap judgement about what a whiny little bitch I am. Although I'd like to think I'd delve a little deeper before snapping off a comment.

So, for reasons that I am unaware of, comments are pretty thin on the ground.  Granted, every so often I've defended myself swiftly and harshly, so those people have probably never ventured back; and if they have, they sure as Hell weren't going to open their mouths.  But hey, until you walk a mile in my shoes, it's oh so easy to see the world in a different way; and that is everyone, including the Squeeze. 

Gillian Welch and David Rawlings

Last night we went to see Gillian Welch and David Rawlings.

What a fantastic night! It was almost like a loungeroom gig; smooth. Laid back. Of course, the last song for the evening was Revelator, which I love... In fact, that was the whole reason I went. Suffice to say from here on in, I'm a fan.

I'm glad that I didn't. I have to admit, I almost said to the squeeze I'm exhausted. Can we wag and skip it. I was bloody tired. Can he see we are old? We should be home in bed on a Sunday night. Then I walked in and everyone was old! Older than me I expect...

Gillian Welch and David Rawlings

The Squeeze, damn him, got it right. I'd never heard of her until he started playing Revelator. Damned idiot. Why couldn't he keep playing his awful jazz?

I'm not talking Billie Holiday either.

Think every damned instrument vying for attention... screaming "look at me! look at me!"

Yep. That is closer to it...

It is a lazy Sunday!

This morning, I got to sleep in until I felt like getting up! I find it amazing that we just seem to settle into the new normal. Last year, and every year before that; I had work to go to. It was up, shower, makeup, breakfast and then a rush to get gone.

Now I don't.

Oh; I still get up and depending what is on, I may rush somewhere, but I can count on my hand how many times I've had to do makeup since I stopped work in November last year. And it is heaven...

Tonight, I will have to do makeup, but then just a sweep over my eyelashes with mascara. I'm still old fashioned. I'm not like the hordes of youth that have eyelashes so long they could sweep the world. Half of them look gunky; freaking ugly if you ask me.

I saw a cartoon as I passing by somewhere the other day. It was archeologists digging up people from today. I had to laugh. They were digging up skeletons with fake tits and fake lips; eyelashes... Hair. And I thought aren't these people ridiculous. In the pursuit of beauty, they become someone who isn't them.

So; life is good! For me.

Time away from home...

Today I'm going up to babysit my grandsons. They are 3 and 4. For me, it is a chance to spend time with them; play games... and spend the night.

My daughter and her guy are going to see Ed Sheeran tonight with my son and his wife. They are going out for dinner first and I'm assuming they'll have a wow of a time!

I'd rather be playing with the kids that go. Ed Sheeran is okay; but I don't think he's $250 worth! Perhaps because I'm getting old - but I don't think so. I love Lady Gaga so I'm "too old" just doesn't quite cut it!

The Moodle..? 

He is fending for himself tonight. And isn't he loving it! A chance to moodle around the house, not doing anything but rejoicing the fact that he's free!!