Alright. I made my choice. I'm going to go back to the old Squeeze; the one I started this blog for. But... We got along great ever since I first met him about twenty years ago, which is probably why we were still best friends. It was the other bits where we didn't; his kid and ex-wife and my non relenting Rubik's Cubing of it all.
So what makes me think it will work this time..?
I don't know for sure. He could change his mind; and I'm ready for it... And not in a ugly way either, I'm just aware that it could all be for nothing. I'd have told the new squeeze and said goodbye for nothing. My heart would be a little harder from being trampled on so many times.
But I don't think so...
His kids are grown, and that was a major issue; made worse by the reality that I didn't handle it as I should have. Okay, I missed the opportunity to be friends with him but I can try it now he is grown up. The two older kids, I managed quite well with them.
The Harridan. I just have to learn that she WILL try to step in and fuck things up again. I don't know why because she sure doesn't want him, but in reality I don't think she will phase me that much. She can't really do anything; she has no more kids to throw at me :)
The best thing about suffering from Brain Damage (lol which sounds bloody hilarious); is the fact that instead of wildly swinging on an emotional roller coaster, now I'm even. I haven't got anything to cry about and haven't had for years. I don't get angry or feel angry anymore; yet I used to feel it as a white hot needle in the eye!
He is going for a job in Geelong this week and if he gets it, we move into living together in a month or two. If he doesn't, we move into dating. I'm ok with either of those scenarios but I guess if he gets the job, we start knuckling down and saving some money. We have a very small window of opportunity to save... It is nearly over now so I'd like to get on with the rest of my life!
So what makes me think it will work this time..?
I don't know for sure. He could change his mind; and I'm ready for it... And not in a ugly way either, I'm just aware that it could all be for nothing. I'd have told the new squeeze and said goodbye for nothing. My heart would be a little harder from being trampled on so many times.
But I don't think so...
His kids are grown, and that was a major issue; made worse by the reality that I didn't handle it as I should have. Okay, I missed the opportunity to be friends with him but I can try it now he is grown up. The two older kids, I managed quite well with them.
The Harridan. I just have to learn that she WILL try to step in and fuck things up again. I don't know why because she sure doesn't want him, but in reality I don't think she will phase me that much. She can't really do anything; she has no more kids to throw at me :)
The best thing about suffering from Brain Damage (lol which sounds bloody hilarious); is the fact that instead of wildly swinging on an emotional roller coaster, now I'm even. I haven't got anything to cry about and haven't had for years. I don't get angry or feel angry anymore; yet I used to feel it as a white hot needle in the eye!
He is going for a job in Geelong this week and if he gets it, we move into living together in a month or two. If he doesn't, we move into dating. I'm ok with either of those scenarios but I guess if he gets the job, we start knuckling down and saving some money. We have a very small window of opportunity to save... It is nearly over now so I'd like to get on with the rest of my life!
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Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!