Monday, February 19, 2018

Okay... Going softly gently...

Alright.  I made my choice.  I'm going to go back to the old Squeeze; the one I started this blog for.  But... We got along great ever since I first met him about twenty years ago, which is probably why we were still best friends. It was the other bits where we didn't; his kid and ex-wife and my non relenting Rubik's Cubing of it all.

So what makes me think it will work this time..?

I don't know for sure.  He could change his mind; and I'm ready for it...  And not in a ugly way either, I'm just aware that it could all be for nothing.  I'd have told the new squeeze and said goodbye for nothing. My heart would be a little harder from being trampled on so many times.

But I don't think so...

His kids are grown, and that was a major issue; made worse by the reality that I didn't handle it as I should have.  Okay, I missed the opportunity to be friends with him but I can try it now he is grown up.  The two older kids, I managed quite well with them.

The Harridan.  I just have to learn that she WILL try to step in and fuck things up again. I don't know why because she sure doesn't want him, but in reality I don't think she will phase me that much. She can't really do anything; she has no more kids to throw at me :)

The best thing about suffering from Brain Damage (lol which sounds bloody hilarious); is the fact that instead of wildly swinging on an emotional roller coaster, now I'm even.  I haven't got anything to cry about and haven't had for years.  I don't get angry or feel angry anymore;  yet I used to feel it as a white hot needle in the eye!

He is going for a job in Geelong this week and if he gets it, we move into living together in a month or two. If he doesn't, we move into dating.  I'm ok with either of those scenarios but I guess if he gets the job, we start knuckling down and saving some money.  We have a very small window of opportunity to save...  It is nearly over now so I'd like to get on with the rest of my life!

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Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!