Thursday, February 15, 2018

My confused fu*king life...

Ok.  I'm 55 years old. When is my life going to get simple..?

Yesterday started out as any other.  I bought the new squeeze a Valentine's Day card that said something along the lines of "I like your face!"  It is early on if you're wondering at my distinct lack of romance; and I got him a Ryan Adams record...

I got the ex-squeeze a card to, that said something along the lines of "we are still the same, only different..."  It had a Llama on the front so he would have enjoyed that, since I'm so scared of them!  What I meant by that is "now we are only best friends again".

Well then I came home from work; which is when all the fun started...

The squeeze called in after work as I have dinner with my brother, his wife and my kid.  Plus I had to do a website, so...  (And they had great fun in speculating about my love life!)

He is sitting there and opens his card saying that he was uncertain if I go in for all this romance stuff so he didn't get me a card...  However, he got the most important bit - a boxed set of Bruce Springsteen records and my favourite flowers.


I should probably point out at this time that I know I like him, but I'm on the roller coaster of like/hate.   It won't move into love for another month or so and that is if it does.  That is if he (or the original squeeze) doesn't do something to fuck it up!

So we have done our exchange when there is a knock at the door. Imagine my surprise when a big box crosses the threshold.  And I look at the Squeeze who gives me a blank look so I realise  that this stunningly gorgeous huge box of roses are not from him.

Which is when the confusion starts.

So knowing I have to get rid of the squeeze so I can think, I shuffle him out of the door with the pathetic excuse of the website that I have to do.  Which, I might add, I spent time on doing while thinking about what this all meant.

Then I opened the card that came today...  And my life takes a distinct downward spiral and has remained there ever since.


He is a writer; a bloody talented one.  I don't think there is any competition on the romance scale. He knows me so well, we were best friends for ten years before we even went out.

But saying he knows me so well is in understanding he knows exactly how to pull my chain. He knows what to write so as to melt me...  For me they are a statement of love; but for him... Just words.  After all, he managed to wed the Harridan and have kids with her, and eventually, she walked out on him.  So why couldn't he go out with me?

Because they are just words; harder to put them into practice...
Yeah.  "I can't stand the world without you!!"

Frankly, I think I would be better off being single!

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Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!