Roll Over Beethoven

Amazing.  One minute I feel as though we are actually having a real grown up conversation; which basically means he isn’t saying “I don’t want to talk about it!” to any discussion centred on the Harridan and his subsequent never ending moodle-ness.

While on the phone tonight, he asked her why she hadn’t taken the paperwork for the divorce, to which she replied “I’m too busy to talk now!” and hung up.  Yes folks, that brain surgeon slash part time art teacher job really is just too fricking taxing for her.

So the Squeeze and I went for a power walk into the town centre where upon we sat to have a long black before walking back.  This isn’t as exciting as it could be since the Greek pastry shops that line the streets have an array of mouth-watering temptations that we must forgo, but hey – it’s out of the house.

Once settled, he got the summons text.  It is one word – RING!

In my head, this is always preceded by the sound: ‘UGG’, possibly because she is a 12 year old trapped inside a mid-fifty year old woman’s short squat body… her texts and emails are written phonetically, so I have to sound them out to understand them.  Ie:  wot u want (zip punctuation) – or Caveman speak as I think of it…  Thus the UGG.

So the quarrel ensues.  I think she believes if she doesn’t take the divorce papers then the divorce will not proceed.  I don’t believe this is in regard to legalities; this is more a “he wouldn’t dare!” thing.  I hope she is wrong, I think she is wrong…

From her perspective, she kicked his arse to the kerb 3 or 4 times before dragging him back (maybe with a text that said “UGG cum bak”)  Either way, she is probably still in the land of “he loves me and will be my moodle forever”.  Hell, get over it.  One of my ex’s once told me he would love me forever, when he got engaged I remember thinking “umm…?  What happened to I’ll love you forever!!!!”  Forever is relatively short in the land of the hurt – as it should be.

And then she calls and hangs up, because stone the crows, it is a case of “I’m not paying for the damned phone call’ versus ‘why haven’t you done as instructed mo fo!!???” (There is possibly a “don’t you know who I am” in there…)

So we have a rather composed conversation where upon I mention that his inability to stand up for himself and (knock her to the floor) will be the undoing of our relationship; a relationship that in every other area is pretty damned good.

But in truth, I struggle because for all intents and purposes, I’m a reasonably intelligent woman – and I just don’t get it.  And until I ‘get it’…  Until it gels in my head and I can understand it, then I can’t leave it alone; it is a loose thread that I just have to pull.

I mean am I really that stupid?  What am I just not seeing?  What am I not understanding..?  What is going on here, under the surface, that I don’t know so don’t understand?  And why the hell am I with someone that answers to someone else continuously...?  Someone I'm not 100% sure of..?

So I try to remain calm, even though I want to scream and kick things.

And it appears to be working.  He acknowledges the giving in factor and on the walk home, I suspect there is a spring in my step for I think he really does get it.  He has listened and understood what I am saying and feeling, that he is going to kill what we have, and for what?  Some bitch who will have almost certainly, have reached her aim.  Without me in the picture, she has the moodle back, the one that will book birthday dinners when commanded to do so, and then of course, pay the bill when she raises her arse off the chair and walks off…

But the calm was short lived when we reached home and I hear him on the phone.  For those that haven’t tuned in from the beginning, the Squeeze bought a tent after they separated.  We took it down the coast for a holiday and I was as annoyed as can be because he left it there for Kid 1 to use (which was really about the Harridan using it).  Because the marriage is over.  We are a couple, the time for sharing all and sundry is gone.  Separate everything.  And let's face it, she taken every single thing he had and left him with nothing.  Surely he could at least keep the tent that he bought after they separated...  

But he left it there, even though I argued that he would never get it back.  Didn’t matter it was his, she would find a reason not to give it back.  He of course argued at the time, but the argument lost weight after 9 months passed without it’s return.  When he would ask for it, she would demand to know what he wanted it for and I'd seeth and storm around the house shouting at him to try "because it's my fricking tent you cow!"  Which of course he could never do, lest he be turned to stone.
Last time he asked for it, she told him that she had given it to the school to use.  My reaction to that must have been a sight to behold - like Krakatoa I've no doubt because then I was totally astounded by the sheer hate inside this person, that she would set out to destroy anything that he had.

This time, she wanted to know what he wanted “our” tent for and after a brief argument explaining to her that it was his, purchased after the separation, I heard him say “you keep it then”…   And a pause, and I know he is expecting this heartless fricking harpy to actually feel a modicum of guilt!  Ha!  And I want to shout at him 'she has no moral compass you moron!' but it's too late.  The tent is gone and that vampire that is and remains his wife - now has the house, the car, and quite literally - the holiday.

And then it hit me.  While I go out with him; or until this bitch is dead – I will never have anything.  Why?  Because he will give her everything she demands.