Friday, September 30, 2011
Emotional Turmoil – Writings Key
Sadly, it is fact for me. I have to be drowning in a sea of emotional misery to pour it all out in writing. And why not? Some of my best work has come at the darkest moments of my life!
My sister emailed me yesterday using an accusatory tone to say that when things are going well with the Moodle, I don’t update my blog as often. She lives on the other side of the world so it is her small window into my life. Either that or it’s just plain old fashion voyeurism. Either way, she is correct.
I don’t make a conscious choice to blog less; there is just no need for the cathartic power of expelling emotion via words. There is that and the reality that evolution for the Squeeze to man up is so slow, it is almost going backwards. Meaning that the wheels of change turn slowly and I get tired of hearing myself say the same thing over and over.
So although I’m not steeped in misery, losing weight (damn it) and wearing black; it’s not like the Moodle suddenly pranced over, opened her handbag and took his testicles out. No, that would be too much like a Doris Day movie. And the sun is never going down on me wearing a 50’s style dress, madly in love and blissfully happy with a guy in a suit (probably rich) and singing a love song. No, those things just don’t happen for moi!
She is ruling the world as firmly now as she ever did. There just isn’t that much going on that requires her barrage of demands, his rolling over on a large ball while juggling and my shouts of frustration.
We have had several discussions about him seeing a nut doctor… Not ‘us’. ‘Him’. (Because I’m sane) We argued about the wording he used when he went to the doctor for a referral. He chose to say that he “tries to please everyone”. I shouted so much I could almost see his hair blowing in the wind; because I sure as hell am not seeing much of an attempt to please me!
There is no “pleasing everyone!” That is not the problem. The real dilemma is in his inability to stop attempting (albeit, uselessly) trying to please the Harridan.
And I’ll never comprehend that. I’ve tried! She is a vile leech. This is a person that made sure that “what was his; was hers” and so up for grabs in settlement. Yet “what was hers; remained her own”. Ie: She took half of his super. He didn’t take half of the money her mother left her.
She ended up with the house, the furniture, the money, the super.
He ended up with a fridge – Which he promptly turned around and gave back to her when he moved in with me!
She is abusive and insulting. Stole his tent. Berates and belittles him. Orders him around like her pet dog. He does all the travelling, yet she has the sheer audacity to hand him a petrol bill for when she takes the kid to a saxophone exam!!!! She gave him hundreds of prescriptions to have filled over the years – even though she is on a healthcard so would get them basically for nothing!!! All in the name of SPITE!
And he is still Moodling up and trying to please her! No idea if the nut doctor can make him see how preposterous that is; guess I have to wait and see what happens in that space.
Other than her, as per usual, our lives are pretty good. But my God, that part of it is damned hard work.
We have had my Kid 3 for a week, then the race day that encompassed an evening with all of mine. Then my Kid 1 stayed until today. Tonight, his Kid 3 arrives until Monday…
Yesterday I emailed the Squeeze to say I don’t care if she needs a lung or my kids are homeless. Next weekend, our place is a kid free zone!
Posted by Mistress at 9:33 AM