Monday, September 12, 2011

Liar, Liar; Pants on Fire

On the weekend, we had a BBQ to celebrate my daughter’s 24th birthday.  It is always such a casual thing to say.  “Oh, we’ll have a bbq!”
See how easily that just rolls off the tongue and glides out of the mouth..?  Of course the reality is that it’s always a tad more difficult and a lot more work/expense.
So Saturday saw us up and out early.  I did a few preparatory chores that would create a domino effect when we got back in the door – ie: stripping beds and throwing washing on but then we began with coffee and the papers at the Vic Market.  It is such a relaxing way to spend the morning; right before you are submerged in hell. 
Shopping at the Victoria Market generally consists of me holding my breath as we sail past the seafood aisle and dodging and weaving around a hundred thousand or so of our closest friends that also appear to think shopping on a Saturday morning is the way to go.  We lugged a tonne of meat around the organic veggie aisle since we stupidly shopped in reverse – we seem to do this every time and I’ve no idea why.
The Squeeze had sent a text message to Kid 2 to ask if he wanted to meet us for coffee but the answer he received was “sure, if you’ll drive me to ‘Velvet Land’ afterwards…”  The Squeeze replied with a simple no, but I thought that one shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth and here was Kid 2, presenting him with a perfect opportunity to have a small, yet deadly dig about this lack of Father’s Day gift.  So he followed it up with “Driving you to Velvet Land is something a good dad would do.  A dad that receives Father’s Day presents…”  I am uncertain if he received a reply but we got to chuckle about it in any case.
It seems Kid 1 and 2 were descending on Velvet Land because the Harridan was moving out of the gingerbread house and into the main house.  My first thought was that Kid 1 and 2 were nowhere to be found when the Squeeze was moving.  Hell, they were reluctant to even move their own things – so it becomes pretty obvious that the Squeeze commands absolutely zip respect which is downright selfish and I suspect, encouraged by the Harridan.
I am ambivalent about the move, partly because as I have mentioned previously, the environment at the Gingerbread House is unhealthy for a 14 yo boy.  It is creepy and the lack of bedrooms and privacy is not only an issue for the kid, but I suspect an issue for friends.  This should be a red flag as to why the kid has no associates hanging around all the time like normal kids do.
But the other side of the coin is that after agreeing to a set amount of maintenance, she is constantly asking the Squeeze to fund things that as far as I’m concerned, should be covered by maintenance.  So the tenants move out of the house and her monthly expenses are immediately substantially up – how does she intend to fund that without more income from him?
The Harridan has vetoed Kid 3 calling for a few days.  I suspect this is due to the divorce that is about to hit her in the face like a Mack truck; more than the divorce, is the fact that she can’t control it – this must be utterly galling for her since she is such a devious, calculating bitch.  Either way, there was no answer to any of the Squeeze’s calls or text messages over the days preceding our trip to the market but then suddenly, on Saturday, the kid calls long enough to tell him: ‘call’ and then he hangs up.
I abhor such utter rudeness and ignorance and if that had been one of my kids, I’d have texted back to say – call me when you have time, I’m sure the 50 cents won’t kill anyone, but that’s just me.  The Squeeze instead leaps through the hoops of fire and calls – as commanded.
We are walking about the market and the one sided chat sounds rather inane and a little bit perfunctory.  Then I hear the Squeeze ask what he has on for the weekend – and the kid says nothing.  The Squeeze rewords it, twice – Nada is the answer to both.
Ummm hello???  So if after that phone call and the Squeeze had mentioned that we had nothing on for the weekend, if he had of arrived only to find that we had moved to another place, how would he have felt?  My blood absolutely boiled, because it is obvious that cow has instructed him to lie and in my world, a lie by omission is still, just a lie.
I mentioned to the Squeeze that lying is just not on.  The Harridan needs to be told in no uncertain terms that her mothering skills leave a lot to be desired but also, the Kid is 14 years old!  Not really a kid.  He is responsible for his own lies and if he feels the need to choose sides, do so, but at least have the good manners to be honest about it.
In short, he needs to be read the riot act.  After all, he feels free to blab all and sundry about our life to his mother… 
And the joy!  We have him tonight.  An extra night.  Yay!  (And yes, that was fricking sarcasm).  Just what I need… more TELEVISION!  The couch with laptop, television on and smart phone in the hand – technology overload!
I can see I will be going to bed early with my book and biting my tongue because the Moodle is ill equipped to deal with such things and I am incapable of not dealing with it.  I’ve already had an email instructing me that he will be having a discussion with the kid and ‘at some point’, the Harridan (don’t you love that hazy lack of definition..?).
In fact it finished off with ‘Key Word…  I’ll’
And the reality is that I’m damned tired of defending someone who obviously has no problem allowing himself to be treated like crap – and they all do it, they are lining up for it!  I suspect Mummy Dearest says a lot more about the Squeeze than he ever does, which is cruel and untrue.
Why am I tired..?  Well after a great day with the bbq, we sat on the sofa and watched The Borgia’s and around 9pm the Queen summons – “RING”!  And the Moodle..?  Oh be still my beating heart; his manly answer is “she can wait until this is over!”
WTF?  How about ignoring the bitch!  If it’s urgent, she can freaking drag her stubby little fingers out to call him!
That is the point where I just gave up and went to bed.

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Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!