Sunday, April 10, 2011
Compounding and Confounding
Astounding. I know that my life is often a roller coaster; and in tarot card speak; it does tend to ‘the tower’ – everything crashes at the one time – but I have to say that I have basically had the week from hell.
All weekend, in between moving and cleaning; work has been on mind as I have Rubik’s Cubed it in an attempt to work out the mind of the insane – and even though I tell myself to give it up; snick and click continues and around and around it goes.
My relationship problems seem to have fixed themselves to some degree (as much as they ever do). I am hoping the simplicity of it will continue for a while because I seriously can’t take much more upheaval. I already know he is a fool; not to mention an emotional husk – but hell, it is damned hard work. He came here Friday evening after work and I am ready for it to be the end; I am over banging my head against the wall – proof of this is that I have said “if this is the life you expect, then I don’t want it”.
I’m not stupid. I’m never going to throw down the gauntlet unless I have every intention of doing what I say – and walk away I would have, and could have.
Midway through our discussion when he pipes up to say “wait a minute… Is this a break up meeting???” (ummm what freaking planet have you been living on you fool!) And it all starts again. The reality is that he has a problem in not being a doormat. He calls it “wanting to please everyone” – I call it “being a damned fool who is viewed with utter contempt by the Harridan” and mine is much closer to the truth.
And through this week of relationship hell; I have had a very short, praying mantis of a woman who is relatively new to the role and completely useless – bullying me. You may ask why I haven’t knocked her on her scrawny, ugly arse. Well that is why they call it bullying; because if she spoke to me in the real world as she does, I would seriously sit her on her arse. I could flay her with sarcasm – it is bulling because her position means that I can’t.
I’ve kept hoping it would go away, but it obviously won’t. So it is about to escalate and the bitch is about to find out that this isn’t the freaking KGB.
Posted by Mistress at 3:26 PM