Sunday, April 10, 2011

Compounding and Confounding

Astounding.  I know that my life is often a roller coaster; and in tarot card speak; it does tend to ‘the tower’ – everything crashes at the one time – but I have to say that I have basically had the week from hell. 
All weekend, in between moving and cleaning; work has been on mind as I have Rubik’s Cubed it in an attempt to work out the mind of the insane – and even though I tell myself to give it up; snick and click continues and around and around it goes.
My relationship problems seem to have fixed themselves to some degree (as much as they ever do).   I am hoping the simplicity of it will continue for a while because I seriously can’t take much more upheaval.  I already know he is a fool; not to mention an emotional husk – but hell, it is damned hard work.  He came here Friday evening after work and I am ready for it to be the end; I am over banging my head against the wall – proof of this is that I have said “if this is the life you expect, then I don’t want it”.
I’m not stupid.  I’m never going to throw down the gauntlet unless I have every intention of doing what I say – and walk away I would have, and could have.
Midway through our discussion when he pipes up to say “wait a minute… Is this a break up meeting???”  (ummm what freaking planet have you been living on you fool!)  And it all starts again.  The reality is that he has a problem in not being a doormat.  He calls it “wanting to please everyone” – I call it “being a damned fool who is viewed with utter contempt by the Harridan” and mine is much closer to the truth.
And through this week of relationship hell; I have had a very short, praying mantis of a woman who is relatively new to the role and completely useless – bullying me.  You may ask why I haven’t knocked her on her scrawny, ugly arse.  Well that is why they call it bullying; because if she spoke to me in the real world as she does, I would seriously sit her on her arse.  I could flay her with sarcasm – it is bulling because her position means that I can’t.
I’ve kept hoping it would go away, but it obviously won’t.  So it is about to escalate and the bitch is about to find out that this isn’t the freaking KGB.

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Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!