Friday, November 12, 2010

Older Men and Birthdays

The squeeze turns 56 tomorrow.
If someone had told me 20 or 30 years ago that I would find a 56 year old guy even remotely attractive; I’d have laughed my ass off.
Although he did slither out of that older man pool; I will point out that he does have plenty of hair; in fact there is little grey sprinkled in there.  He even has all of his own teeth.  Still, he is a little on the short side; in bare feet I top him by at least a centimetre or two.
At the start of our relationship, he would often do or say something so totally dumb arsed, that I could only shake my head in wonder at how he had ever dated before – let alone married and produced children.  At least questioned how he had done those things and not actually been stabbed.
For example…  We were watching a girly flick one night; I can’t remember what it was but the usual meeting… soul mates...  yada yada.   I looked over to him and said “do you think you get more than one soul mate?  Or do you have several out there.”  He points out that he believes you only get one and then foolishly went on to speculate that his was someone he went out with in his 20’s.  Not even his wife.  Ummm yeah, that will get you sex.  Not.
The counsellor, who he is seeing in an endeavour to extract himself from the matriarch’s power, told him that maybe next time he should say “I’ll think that over and get back to you…”   Wise woman, the nut doctor.
Payback is required on occasion; however ‘in your face’ payback seems rather petty - so you have to get creative.  For example, if we were going out, I would make sure I wore very high heels as a statement of my displeasure.  This lasted several months before I worked out that this didn’t seem to bother him at all.  Bastard.  In fact, he liked it! 
I realised he was somewhat smugly thinking that anyone observing us would be wondering at that hidden speciality he possessed.  Given that he had a younger, taller woman at his side.

1 comment:

  1. I followed a link you left in the comments of the guy who lost custody of his kids for not shutting down his blog.
    My best friend is currently married to a woman very like your squeeze's ex. I'm fascinated. This is like looking at his future.


Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!