I do admit I find it hard in these initial meetings. I am the alien. I am the one attempting to fit in, be liked; hoping that they see whatever the squeeze sees in me. Every bit of self-doubt I possess leaps out to consume me. And as with most marriage breakdowns; friends cling to the belief they can be friends with both. I say belief because it doesn’t usually work that way in reality.
Aside from that, I can’t help but concede that they probably don’t understand the “cat speaking to me” theory. I wonder if they question the fact that up until one year ago; we were nothing more than friends. To be honest, I think I’d question it myself, were I them.
I don’t have history. Their history, their stories are peppered with tales of my squeeze and the ex-wife. And the guests are carefully wording all they say in an attempt not to exclude me. This in itself is a difficult task. You have no history. How then can you be a “part of”?
Still; you have to start somewhere; but integration isn’t as easy as people figure it is…