Thursday, November 25, 2010
How Does That Make You Feel..?
Well. Today was the first “couples” visit to the nut doctor. I guess I’m still digesting it and attempting not to do my usual thing of Rubik’s Cubing it to death. 1 + 1 and I come out with e=mc2 rather than just the answer of 2.
Hours later, I asked the squeeze how he thought it went. In typical “I’m an utter moron in the ‘feelings’ department” he said: “I think it went good!” I guess he didn’t get the whole “you’re wasting your time girl” vibe that I was getting from the psychologist.
I don’t doubt that she thought exactly that mid-way through the session. She turned and asked him: “what do you see as your future…?” And all she got was a rather pathetic impersonation of a fish – mouth open; closed; mouth open; closed.
The mice started running around in my head so fast that I could almost hear the wheel squeaking as the silence ticked on. I shifted in my chair and started thinking “should I just get up and leave..?” A million doubts circled in my head because I couldn’t understand why he didn’t rattle off “oh well, we are planning on moving in together… having a future… Making it work…” I mean, we have talked about it.
I looked up at some ugly box of wires on the wall; just to disengage. I tried not to say anything about his inability to articulate a plan for life; because hell, I’m sure they just sit there and wait for an outburst, something to whittle down.
So instead I waited to see what else would evolve and she danced around a little but came back to it, this time asking him outright if we planned to move in together – and he didn’t hesitate to say yes. This mollified me.
I’m starting to learn. As per yesterday’s posting – it isn’t that he doesn’t feel. He is just an idiot, voicing the wrong thing; or not voicing the right thing. So she moved on and said that people evolve at their own pace – to which I agreed, although could have perhaps argued that there actually needs to be freaking evolution! Before I die would be good!
Yet at the end of the session she was pretty loud and clear - getting a divorce would draw a line in the sand for the wife and is a commitment to our relationship. Without it, as we age, non-commitment would be construed as a waste of time. Without it, people move on and look for someone that is prepared to commit.
Actually, she said as I acquire more wrinkles each year… which was pretty insulting, but not nearly as bad as saying to him “and your pot will get bigger”.
Now that was freaking funny.
Posted by Mistress at 9:28 PM