Saturday, June 23, 2012
The Best Exotic Velvet Land Hotel
Since the move from Velvet Land to the real world, the Harridan has spent an inordinate amount of time “cleaning” in preparation to rent the house out.
I suspected (hoped) that she had met someone; I mean no one on the planet lives in such squalor that it would warrant a month of cleaning for a house they have only occupied for six months. I know they exist in what I term “clean freak hell”; but how can it get so bad in only six months..?
Today, the Squeeze went off to Velvet town to watch Kid 3 play soccer. I like this time. I get to enjoy the utter bliss of a sleep in before I potter around doing my style of cleaning. By mid-afternoon, the beds are changed, washing is done, floors are gleaming and I can sit, let my eye survey the room and feel exceedingly pleased with myself and my surroundings.
Aside from the peace of soccer morning, there is the certainty that as the Squeeze stands on the sidelines, if there is any trouble on the horizon; it is here that the Harridan will pounce. I was uncertain of what would come from denying her the chance to rule supreme over the birthday dinner, but if there was something to come, it is here he would hear of it.
Instead, the Squeeze came home and she had not spoken to him. He thinks this means all is well in the world. I see this as more “the calm before the storm…”
Over coffee, he did pause to tell me that the Kid had mentioned that she is ‘preparing’ the house as a bed and breakfast. It took every ounce of will not to spray my coffee across the table. I'd never heard anything so outlandish!
A bed and breakfast..? He she for real..? This person can’t even keep a school shirt white! Strangely enough, people kind of prefer a clean weekend retreat! With hygienic bathroom! Not yellow sheets and pee floating in the loo!
Tongue in cheek, I suggested that we should rent it J
Posted by Mistress at 6:47 PM