Pinch Me

Every so often I shake my head in utter astonishment at how I got to be where I am.

Upon slinking into the post office tonight, I was greeted with a ‘registered letter’.  Frick.  I hate those – nothing good ever comes in a registered letter.  After my heart did a little dance and my stomach did a tiny dive, I turned the envelope over and saw it was addressed to the Squeeze rather than me and breathed a sigh of relief.

When I got home, he had that little look on his face… You know; the one you have prior to working out that nothing good ever comes via registered letter.

I wasn’t surprised… He was disappointed.

It seems the landlord and agent from ‘clean freak hell’ have been in to inspect and followed that up with some Gerry built invoice on repairs and had forward an invoice and intention to claim 5+ k for repairs.

Now I’ll admit; I hate that hole called a house, but the reality is, it is a piece of rat crap.  I’ve said from the start, from the ugly walls to the ripped blinds – right down to the 3 inch thick moss green shag – it is a filthy hole of a house that is impossible to clean.  Lino doesn’t reach the walls.  The floorboards are warped - almost a death trap.  If you dare to put the .2 horsepower air con on; the power point gets hot enough to fry an egg on it.  The cupboards are chip board and falling to pieces.  I’m sure I’ve mentioned my great drawer repairs after just pulling them out has seen them disintegrate!

And if they think that we (meaning the Squeeze) is just going to run with that – oh hell; they are in for a surprise.  If they don’t back off I’ll be spending my weekends down there out the front of the house with a large sign that says “landlord from hell!”  Not to mention out the front of the agents office with “rip off agents!”

Then we have the mental giant that is the Harridan – who sends weirdo messages such as “happy 2 do divorce but u no wat has to happen” – Ummm no.  Actually, neither of us have any idea what has to happen – other than a quick course in literacy skills for her.  What the hell could “have to happen?”  Or there is the “we have 2 discus…” No.  Actually.  We don’t.  What part of living with someone else...  Separated for 4 damned years does this woman not get..?   

And if it is a power trip; power to her because after all her crap, he is now doing it himself.  Looks like power just went out the window and even better, if I will make sure I mention to anyone that asks that she refused to sign the divorce papers so he had to just do it on his own.  That would make the witch choke on her spleen lol thinking that she was dumped and at home pining.

Between the real estate tossers and the Harridan, whom I’m convinced is mentally unstable – they’ll give him a heart attack.  And after he just moved in too!  If they think there is any moving going on if they kill him – they can think again!