Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The Art of Disengagement

We all have our strong points; the things we are good at, those that we are not so great at.  In the Squeeze’s world, the ‘slow on the uptake’ list would have ‘cleaning’ and ‘organisation’ firmly there at the top of the list. 
I would imagine most of my blogs are around ‘clean freak hell’; that and his inability to organise. 
Organisationally, I’ve taken to coordinating our outlook calendars to manage time.  When something comes up, it goes in the calendar and updates his.  He’s taken to that so well that he is in fact sending invitations to me when he organises a night out – so ‘inability to organise’ slinks down the list.
His utter laziness and lack of care if the place looks like a crack house, has to some extent, been eliminated by moving to my place.  I don’t let things get to the point of no return and although I abhor the use of the term ‘house frou’, I suspect that is what I am in regards to him picking up after himself.  I try to bite my tongue.  In fact, if he realised just how often I actually stopped myself from saying “get your shoes off!” he would run a mile.
Personally, I’m not sure why I have to explain that taking your shoes off when you come into the house is a good idea.  I have beige carpet in the bedrooms.  It’s winter.  Winter = mud.  Mud = stained carpet.  See…  A fool could understand it, so I’m not sure why he can’t.
But like a dazzling star on a Christmas tree, what sits at the very top of his list, is retarded disengagement gene; or RDG.
It took the nut doctor all of about 2.7 seconds to work out that he had a problem with being able to reclaim the power…  He couldn’t quite get to what I consider, is a relatively simple task of just opening the Harridan’s handbag and extracting his testicles.
To be honest, I suspect she has wished me to hell and back a hundred times.  With me, came the vanishing – albeit, slowly!  But she is watching her money tree/whipping boy slowly dissipate; fading before her very eyes.  And I’m quite certain that she intended the “til death do we part” bit would actually be until death; at least on a financial/scapegoat level.
But it is not without pain and anger.  And I am ever reminded of this.  Yesterday I found his application to remove her from the joint bank account – completed in January.  Joint bank account!!!!  Lucky for him I found this and not a joint bank account statement; or I have no doubt I’d have stabbed him!  Damned Moodle!
No.  It won’t happen overnight.  There is no striding to the handbag to snatch the testicles back.
It will be done one pubic hair at a time…

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Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!