Situational Irony...

That is my life as it stands.  Hmm, originally I wrote ‘as it stands at this moment’; however, as I read it back, I realised that has always been my life!  There seems to be a discrepancy between the expected result and actual results when enlivened by perverse appropriateness.

I’m like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz; finding a wizard and fulfilling all of his damned demands so that I can go home, only to discover I had the ability to go back home all the time.  I’m an Alanis Morissette song for crying out loud!  But why is it that as soon as my life starts going in the right direction; a damned house drops on me?

This was going to be the first pay in a long time that I would be doing it easy (or at least easier…) and then out of the blue, Dorothy’s house drops out of the sky in the shape of my car.  I drove to work this morning – not a drama in the world.  It’s a 2002 Astra, kind of average.  But hell; I do under 10k a year.  I am literally that ‘one little old lady’ owner!  Turn the key – nada.

I called the squeeze; although he lives over in ‘clean freak hell’, he works not far from me and we generally finish around the same time.  He paused to say ‘I don’t know very much about cars… Wouldn’t you be better of calling someone who works on them?’  If not so annoyed at the situational irony I was currently experiencing I’d have rolled around the carpark laughing my arse off.

I contained the mirth but managed to mutter “are you out of your ever loving fricking mind?  I didn’t call you to come fix my car; I called to get a ride home from work!”  Fix my car, hell; even typing that makes me smirk.  This is a guy who when we were taking boy 2’s car camping, didn’t have a clue why the light didn’t work!  My brand new iPhone car charger didn’t work, nor his Nokia.  I pushed the lighter home and zip; obviously a blown fuse.  This was a little more difficult; I had to Google to find out where the fuses were but when found and replaced, we had action.  Perhaps I shouldn’t even mention the snapping the fuel cover off his car one night when getting petrol  (pfft!)

I’ve said it a million times; I am the man in this relationship. 

I wasn’t expecting him to fix my car.  What I expected was a little bit of ‘relationship support’; not sure why.  I had already sent him an email last night to say “as a boyfriend, you suck!”  He replied to say “how can you blame me for the time a cyclone lands?”  How sad that I had to point out that I didn’t blame him for Yasi. 

What I blamed him for is being an emotional puddle.  If not, he would have understood that he should have been here with me last night while I was walking the house and stressing.  My son was on a yacht off the coast of Queensland and his partner was stuck in their apartment in Cairns.  I was up until 2am then back again to try to find out what was going on by 6.

Hell, a work mate gave me a ride home but what I needed was a “are you ok honey?  Do you need me to come back and get you..?”  I’d have said I'd be okay, but it might be nice to think that he has one manly, supportive bone in his body!