Saturday, January 29, 2011

Share and Share Alike

Well he made it home unkilled by the heathen.  Not even any blood on his shirt.  Of course in his first telling (after my inquisitating) he made it sound as though she was “Miss Reasonable” and had gladly accepted everything he said.  Hmm, at the back of my mind there was the last “Miss Reasonable” meeting he had prior to us going camping; where she had actually said “I’m happy you are happy!”  And I knew, what that really meant was: “I want to see that happiness on your face… fleetingly; right before I extract your still beating heart from your chest cavity and wave it in front of your face a few times… Just so that you can actually watch it stop beating.”
Oh, I had no doubt the divorce part would be agreed to.  The divorce wasn’t the anticipated problem.  The money was always going to be the issue.  Strangely enough, the money is annoying and seeing him robbed blind makes my blood boil; yet for me, the divorce was the biggy here.  I mean even if things don’t work out for us, I’d like to think he can break away from that crap and maybe have a life without his very marrow being sucked out by her.
Still, as per usual, I had to wade through layers of iquinistation to get to the core of the actual discussion.  The money dialogue didn’t go quite as I planned and in the first telling, seemed to have been passed over with relative ease.  Yet burrowing a little deeper, it appears the “you pay this I pay that” was still on the table.  No… that wasn’t what we had discussed at all.  That was far too easy for Miss Reasonable to rob him blind – because he is a fool and never keeps track.
I worked out a figure via the child support agency calculator so that he could arm himself, but she would rather stick with the “you pay/I pay” which in Squeeze reality equates to “you pay”.
The problem with having bills handed to you left right and centre is that it is hard to collate them all and understand exactly what you are paying.  It is also impossible to plan with no real concept of expenditure; just a pile of haphazardly assembled of bits of paper?
Aside from the lack of planned expenditure and putting the responsibility back on her, there is a small realism factor to think about.  When it is done this way you have no real idea of exactly what you are actually paying all up and I'm tipping if he sat down and worked it all out, it would actually scare him.
When he threw a figure of what he thought he was paying, she mentioned that she was “matching that”.  Yeah...  Sure…  Kind of like she matched his $1400 Vietnam plane ticket for Boy 2 with her $150 travel insurance.  I mean there are realities; then there is the Harridan reality.
In between attempting to run with the “Miss Reasonable”, she dotted the odd reference to the past which was supposed to make his heart weep in sympathy.  Funny really; I thought she knew him.  There is no heart in Squeezeville!  She even went so far as to (wringing hands; eyes dropping away to the floor - I've no freaking doubt) that she found it difficult to “share her children”.  When he told me that one, I thought I would choke on my spleen.
Share?  Children?  I’d rather be freaking dead!  As I choked out; there is no share!  I don’t want to share them!  I don’t want them!  Hell, I barely like and want my own! (Which isn’t really true, but I’ll readily admit, I’m not exactly “kid friendly”) 
But her kids?  I wouldn’t spend one second with them if I didn’t love him.  He loves them.  He wants to see them.  I love him and want him to be happy.    Share..?  I’d be happy as Larry to move to Florence and only see them once a year!  That is my dream!  No Fear that I have the remotest of intentions to steal the freaking kids. (That made shudder to even write it…)  I mean the array of torture and manipulation that she puts him through is bad enough.  I sure as hell don't want to be a recipient of it!
I had to be a little careful in my choice of words.  I mean parents get thingy about their own kids - never seeing what the rest of humanity sees; so I guess it wouldn’t do to say “Ummm no thanks.  You can keep them!”  Even as I write this I am in Clean Freak Hell - no cockroaches in sight, but Boy 2's bedroom door is open... It scares me to even walk past it.  Mess such as this takes on a life of it's own and I'd hate to think it could suck me in to a vortex of filth.
When I inquisitated a little further, he mentioned that she thought we should have more communication and try to be amicable.  Oookay.  Amicable..?  I guess she forgot for just a second that she usually wishes he was dead and sends odd texts to the tune of "you are pathetic", or "you are a weak prick" or my favourite...  "you are so selfish, why don't you think about them for once". 

Of course at the mere mention of more communication I had to contain the volume of my voice but the sarcasm level remained sadly.  “No… No!  We want freaking LESS.  I’d be happy if we never heard from her again!' Did at least manage to articulate it quite accurately.
Like we would want more?  Fruitcake gives non stop parenting lessons and life skills (which we all know in velvet land means medication is evil...) and odd references to his lousy fathering skills.  Where would he be without her words of wisdom!

But the winner of the day was the comment "why do we have a problem?  Is it her?  Because I don't want you back..."  And the Squeeze is just too freaking dumb to retort  "ummm no.  We are both pretty secure in what we have."  

Still, that typical of Harridan reality - she figures the only reason they are no longer together, is because she doesn't want him.  Personally, I think she should have worked out by now that the real reason he isn't there is because she is a raving nutcase with an unrealistic view of the world who rants and raves so damned much that she gave him a heart attack.  Her wants and needs don't even come into it.


What a pity she asked him instead of me...


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