Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Crap Boyfriend 101

I have been sick.  Actually; I have been really sick.  Bad reaction to antibiotics and suddenly, I know exactly what it would feel like to be 1000 years old.  Every single thing on my body hurts; even my hair.  To top off all that joy, I now have a cold.
I have 18 people coming for Christmas lunch, and couldn’t shop if my life depended on it.  I have also had a big week at work – which I’ve had to leave to others to deal with. [I will point out here that SK is making us look fantastic]
I’ve finished my Christmas shopping, thank the Lord, but I keep thinking about the mud cake I have to make for 18 people.  I haven’t even thought about the actual dinner!  I’ve had to shop for more glasses, more dinner set – and God knows where the hell we are all sitting…  But it’s all just “no sweat” according to the squeeze.
And speaking of which, where in all this is the squeeze? 
Well bet your ass he is not here bringing me hot toddies! I’ve barely seen him! I had to ask if I was in “silent treatment hell” today simply because I’ve barely seen or heard from him. He said no to the silent treatment [he always says no, so that doesn’t really mean much.]
What the hell?  What is it if not silent treatment?  He left Sunday morning and it is as though I don’t exist!  Idiot has a lot to learn about being a reasonable boyfriend.  I’m not even thinking about “perfect”!   I’m striving for mediocre for crying out loud!  Kill me now if this is all I can get!
Of course in between the silence, I get the odd email to suggest we do a ”Chadstone Ramble Shop” prior to Christmas.  I had to reply WTF?  What the hell is a ramble shop?  According to the squeeze, that is that last minute wander around Chadstone, grabbing all and sundry for God knows who – and probably nothing that they want in any case.
Sounds like a nightmare for someone as organised as me.  Also sounds freaking expensive as you smash and grab your way to a whole world of impulse buying.  I put a great deal of thought into my gifts!  I have four under the tree addressed to him.  One amusing; one he would think is groovy, and two to further his talents.
I don’t do “ramble” when choosing presents!!!  And besides, we are cooking mud cake!  Why oh why couldn’t I find a normal man to go out with?
All I can say is that next time his dicky heart needs tweaking; he’s on his own! 

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Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!