Chalk and Cheese

Sometimes all I can do is shake my head in wonder at how different the squeeze and I are.   We are similar in some things; almost the same in others and at totally opposite sides of the world for the rest.  In reality, this could be because he is just a dumb arse, but I think that even for a dumb arse, he doesn’t quite think the same as ‘normal’ people do.

I have spent the morning cleaning outside because we are having Christmas lunch here and his family will be in my environment for the first time.  What started as a couple for lunch has now blown out to 18 or so, making it a requirement for an outside affair.  Not only is it a little easier to house, it creates a relaxed atmosphere which is what I’m aiming for.

Obviously, I would like them to think that he has done well, as opposed to going home and whispering behind their hands; wondering how the hell he hooked up with such a skanky ho who can’t even clean-up for Christmas.

He of course, thinks having a crowd to lunch is no work, no problem; and can’t see why I would stress about it.  Idiot.

Even writing that is almost funny because I know they have been to his house – and we all know that his house is clean freak hell – yet they sat… and ate… and didn’t even look that uncomfortable really.  I didn’t even see anyone check their cutlery was clean (as I do); or come out of the bathroom panting since they had to hold their breath for whatever timeframe they were in there for.

Although I’ve never been in the harridan’s environment; I suspect we each learn from the environment we exist in.  I’m pretty sure my ex is neat as a pin.  He sure was for the years I was coming and going through kid pick up.  As for the harridan, the one time I sat in a car outside the little shed structure she lives in when we did pick up, I could see by the weeds and make shift steps that she sure wasn’t going to be serial killer anal like I am (and I freely admit, I am over the top.)

Anyway, I am not even going to worry about “clean” and just go with who I am.

Now all I have to worry about is the menu!