Friday, March 21, 2014
The Pendulum Swings
Okay; after re reading yesterday’s post, I realise I may have been a tad ambitious in my thoughts on ‘this is easy!!! I’m over that relationship already!’
It has been easier than I figured it would be. This is mainly due to the fact that I am experiencing the death of a relationship, there has to be a grieving process. I’m pretty certain that most of my grieving occurred during the relationship; even if I wasn’t aware that was the case.
Maybe 'not aware' is grasping at straws. Perhaps 'head in the sand' would have been a better turn of phrase. Seriously, did I really think it wasn’t always going to end here..? The answer to that is simply that I didn’t know and wanted to give it a shot.
If you read back through the years of blogs you will see that nothing really changed. All the issues that were there from the start remained up until the day that I left. On that score alone, you would think that it was pretty clear that the relationship wouldn’t last. You may only be surprised that it took so long to end.
Then the pendulum swings.
Opposing that theory is the reality that I like him as a friend and a person. We get along. Have similar interests. I could see a great life when we were old; filled with music and writing and laughter.
I’m doing pretty good really. I do miss him. But I do not miss that life or house or sly child or psychotic ex-wife and her ridiculous demands.
In the wash up, I realise that it doesn’t matter how much you love someone. Love isn’t a cloak of invisibility. You can't just toss it about your shoulders and believe you have the protection of it forever. It doesn’t mean you can treat people as you like and still, that person who loves you, will love you forever.
If your needs are never quite met… If your wants are always put last; love dies.
Posted by Mistress at 11:00 AM