Oh My God....

It has been a balmy 41 degrees Celsius today; which in the old measurement, is 105.8 degrees Fahrenheit.  In other words, it was freaking hot; which is weird for March. Back when I was a kid it used to be summer in November and December. Now it feels as though summer is getting later and later.

My car continues to do weird things; the air conditioning didn't work for some of the time and the side mirrors never came out of their sleep mode and went back to work so I had to guess a lot. Mostly, I figured it was too damned hot to do anything so no one would be out any how!

My daughter's new house is closer than the old one, only an hour and a quarter from mine and the house is quite lovely; or it will be when it's sorted and finished; still, blistering hot weather and all we had a good time. My son and his girl friend came over, running with the 'many hands make light work' but it seemed mostly, we had to zip here or run there and so the day was finished before the work was and we left the family to do their stuff.  To be honest, I think they would prefer to sort the place out exactly as they would like.

So we got in the car (air conditioning working thank God) and were half way to the Moodle's place when they called him to say they weren't going out as Sunny wasn't feeling well - so I said "let's go home!"

And that is exactly what we did! 

It is still bloody hot; 31 at 10 pm.  What is with that?

Boy... I'm just going to go with the flow...

Feeling like crap again, but that is the normal these days... The world goes on...  Today I did nothing really. Got dressed, went and got my toe nails done because when you feel like crap, its a way of making a little dent in everything in your life that's horrid.

I bought a new Mazda; I picked it up last weekend. I love it (I loved my old one too) but this is like driving a cloud.  Tiny trouble, something seems wrong with the electronics. It keeps fading in an out of the radio. The fuel gauge is stuck on FULL (wouldn't that be nice to be accurate!); the air conditioning only works intermittently and cruise doesn't work at all! So, I have to take it back. 

 

Not even that one thing can go right!!!!

Tomorrow we're up early and off it my daughter house to look after her boys! They are in the middle of moving house so I figured we'd go and help by keeping the boys entertained. Then we are off to the other side of down to the Moodle's son to look after their baby while they go to a wedding! It's about the only nice part about getting old!

Perhaps I'm finally ready...

My blog sits here doing nothing… perhaps I’m ready to start it again…  After years of wandering in normalcy! Being a ‘partner’. Going to work. Doing housework. Yep; you guessed it. I’ve become boring. Mundane is my middle name. Colourless is my description. Where once I used to get glances from men (which put a little zing in my step); now they don’t even see me. They may as well shout it at me, I’m an old balloon head. Well they could shout it out at me if they saw me! I’ve disappeared! Into nothingness!

But stuff that. I say I’m going to get myself back on track!

I’ve become a boring mouse of a woman. I’ve even look like a mouse! Grey and boring. But if it is the spine thing; my life is about to change! No more pain! And it’s hard living your life when you’re in constant pain. I can’t see anything else; it’s all covered with the red haze of pain.

But I’m living in the clouds at this moment because I’m just awaiting scans to see if it is, indeed, spinal stenosis. And if it is; get out of my damned way!

Yes; it comes with surgery on the spine but hell, I wasn’t joking in my last blog when I said I’d sleep with Satan to be fixed!

So… I’m going for scans! Wish me luck!

I feel like shit...

I'll admit, after years of religiously blogging; I've taken a huge leap into the unknown...  I find I don't care about much anymore, so its hard to blog about something when you don't feel passion about anything!

I'm here, living my life.  The Moodle is with me, but I even sense I'm not really doing it for him either; he's just going through the motions.  It is hard to feel a great love for anything when all I feel is crap within myself; when everything hurts!

So although I take it the 'higher being' thought it would be damned funny to give me 27 brain operations (and there will be more to come!) I kind of got that. Hell it's amusing! But then he thought it would be a damned laugh to give me brain damage - I sort of got that too, because I rose above the brain damage (let's face it, what was I going to do? Jump in the grave and pull the dirt up over my head?). I dealt with it because I had to.

So now it seems, I have Spinal Stenosis. OMG does it hurt! I've had three years of it, just trying to diagnose it! My neurosurgeon discovered what it was (after 2 hip replacements did nothing!)  I'm on steroids which is making me as fat as a cow and nothing fits me, and I feel miserable!! My head looks like a beach ball with short hair on top (thanks to the 2 brain surgeries at the end of last year where they left a rats tail at the back!! WTF??? Which I had to get to the hairdressers and get Kim to fix it!

So tomorrow I go for cat scans and MRI and then another cat and then he'll tweak my shunts if necessary - but at least I'll know! I'll have an answer! So what, another surgery is the fix (this time on my spine which is a little disconcerting) but hell, I'd sleep with Satan if he fixed me!

Clean! Clean!

The  Squeeze likes to say that I'm a clean freak... In fact, I'm just not a pig. Unlike him who leaves his socks of the floor and he does this weird thing with his jeans (it looks like a just disappeared as opposed to being a pig - even his belt is still in them...) - I'm clean. I don't think clean freak is the reality.

But I do enjoy it! I've cleaned the house and it looks gleaming! It will perhaps until tomorrow but 1 dog and 4 cats produce little tumbleweeds of hair that blow across the floor and gives my house a western vibe!

So after the house work... I'm looking for a holiday! I thought some place in Sicily! Oh my; I'm looking at this gorgeous villa! We'll see what they come back with!!