It sucks getting old...

You go to bed one night at about age 5, and wake up and you're 60. Where has life gone? It seems to have taken forever when I was young to await some birthday or Christmas. These days, I shudder in horror as another year passes. Unless I'm getting senile (which odds are I could be with my brain damage lol)

Suddenly life seems slower. Things don't matter as much as they once did, where I would want to kill someone or cry my eyes out or walk around the house like a ghost because my heart was broken. Now everything is mundane. Like the Valentine's Day cards we gave one another - it lacks romance. 

Now don't get me wrong; I don't blame the Squeeze entirely for that. Everything hurts. My legs kill me because I'm suffering from Poly Myalgia Rheymatica (don't ask for an explanation; Google it). The only way to combat that is to go on steroids; so I'm getting fatter (and fatter) and it's not just fluid although that has pushed my face out so I look like a sponge. So I can't blame him for not wanting to rock things between us; and truth tell, I think he'd get a 'fuck off' if he did want to.

But... I don't want this for my life. It's mundane. I wake every day and it's the same, no thrilling things to look forward too; no groovy places to go and see or eat. As we get fatter, we stay home. Can't go out and eat; someone may see us and think "look at those fatties!". I realise that we have, in effect, given up.

So... We can either diet, or pull the dirt over our head because life is over already! I intend to diet because pulling the dirt over my head isn't really an option!