Friday, November 8, 2013

Dumping a Hunchback

I really like the name of my blog, even if it doesn’t quite fit anymore.  I’ve basically got a book worth of outpourings - of the heart, temper and grief; so I’m not going to just start over.  Besides; it’s like life when you think about it.  An evolution!  So instead of dumping and starting again, I’ve amended the header a bit…  Personally, I think it looks kind of groovy.

Firstly; am I dumping him? 

Not certain really.  I have doubts that it can work in any way shape or form when I am wrong all the time.  When every issue or problem becomes about me, instead of about where it really originates from.  Being wrong all the time is getting old.  Coming last all the time makes me tired.

I think I've finally worked out that no matter what, the Squeeze will never see the the kid for what he is; nor the Harridan.  It's too much work; too hard to admit the truth of what they are.  They are both poison, the boy as much as the mother.  I can hope that he grows out of it but while his behaviour runs unchecked, I doubt that will happen.  Having said that, I can't wait until he get's his first beating down out in the real world - and he will.

Let's face it; I don’t want to share a table with him, let alone a life.

I don’t think we will get out of the lease and even though part of me actually hates the Squeeze for his weakness, I won’t leave him holding the bag on an over expensive house – which means sucking it up until April and the end of the lease.

Seriously not sure if I can do that… 

If I move out soon, we may have some chance to go back to dating.  If we don’t move until April; I won’t want to ever see him again I suspect.  I’m fifty one years old.  I want a life.  A house.  Something.  I’m not prepared to go back to where we were for years while he panders to his horrible kid and ex-wife.  Nor am I prepared to work my guts out to get a place and then just move him in to share that work when they have sucked him dry.

The relationship as it exists now is certainly not working and he doesn’t understand why this is so.  Why I can’t just bend over and take it like a man; like he does.  And I find his weakness an ugly trait.  A trait that doesn’t seem to have improved in the four years we have been together… Hell, it's all documented in these pages.  So frankly, I suspect we’ll go our separate ways.

2 comments:

  1. He can get a border to help with the over expensive house. Leave, while you are still talking. Before that kid makes you loath the ground he walks on.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks; but frankly... I think it's already over...
    :(

    ReplyDelete

Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!