Madness - It's Growing

I’ve never denied on mad; in fact, I’ve always been kind of proud of it.  My profile line says “a little bit mad, not psychotic” so it’s not like I’m trying to hide it.  A little bit of madness is intriguing, at least in my mind.  It’s not like I’m burying people in the back yard under the lilies.  It’s a pleasant kind of madness.

But these days I’m beginning to wonder if my ‘little bit of madness’ is morphing into ‘full blown psychotic’. 

The Squeeze drives me utterly mad; all those things documented within the past posts while I lived in “clean land” and he lived in “clean freak hell” still exist.  But now they are in my face… All the time…

If you look to the bottom of the page you’ll see what “clean freak hell” used to look like and he sure as hell hasn’t suddenly become Mr. Clean.  So I’m doing nonstop work to keep things in check and yet also letting some things slide by. 

Then we have a never ending parade of kids who are all doing a stress dump while they a leaving stuff on every available surface of every room in the house. 

For some reason, all of these people in my life seem to think I’m God.  I can fix everything!  And I’m a woman, so I’m close to it – but I’m not Wonder Freaking Woman!

Sometimes, like now, the whole thing feels like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff, screaming my head off, and not one of the selfish swine in my life even notice.