Monday, August 18, 2014

Driving Miss Daisy

The roller coaster that is ‘dating’ continues with thrilling highs followed by wild dips; or worse, just a shuffling kind of boring train ride.

I’m approaching this with the somewhat pragmatic approach of a project.  I’m not in a hurry; nor am I desperately seeking love.  It would just be nice to have a date every so often when you have to go to one of those things where you are once again, the only single in the damned room! I have a requirements specification or check list already in my head and I adhere to it mercilessly.  On that spec are the ‘must haves’, ‘nice to haves’ and ‘deal breakers’.

I find it amazing and somewhat amusing just how different everyone’s ideal on the ‘musts and breakers’ are.  But let’s face it, we’re all different!  To some, I may seem ruthless but it is with absolutely certainty that I know I’m being judged just as ruthlessly.

When I receive a contact from someone and open it to look at their photo, this is the first “judgement”.  For example, if they’re standing there in socks and sandals then I’m not even pausing to read their opening line, let alone the details.  What would be the point?  For some, it takes a split second to know that I’m never… Not ever… going to be attracted to that face; or handlebar moustache; or belly like a pregnant blow fish.

It’s fair because I’m sure just as many are opening mine and saying, crikey!  I couldn’t be looking at that gap between her front teeth for long!  So as far as I’m concerned, all is fair in the art of love and dating.

I had a date on Thursday night with a guy I’d already met for coffee.  At the first meeting, I'd determined that his teeth weren’t great (there is a make or breaker!!!) and he had a weird limp/draggy leg thing (I didn’t say I couldn’t be a shallow bitch!)  The teeth became a lesser issue as we caught up because he was here visiting the dentist.  Date two also preceded a dental visit and so with a few clever questions, I found out that the dentist wants about 30k to fix his teeth.  I pointed out that teeth are important so it was probably worth it!  The leg, was due to breaking his hip a couple of months ago; so this would get better or maybe get a full hip replacement.

So with those two potential breakers' on the road to being fixed, I decided on date II.

He picked me up in a 180k brand new Mercedes and it all went downhill from there…

I was kind of expecting this version:

What I got, was this version:

Who the Hell buys a 180k black Merc and then proceeds to drive it at 40 KLMS!!!!!!!!!!!  He got tooted for crying out loud!  Someone bipped him for driving too slow and not getting out of the damned way!  When it came time to leave, I asked him if he wanted me to drive, which he thought was hysterical.  Little did he know I was deadly serious…

So he won’t do.  I just couldn't stand driving around like we were going for a spell in the country...  Getting road raged at every turn.   

It had been raining men; and the well is drying up as those I actually like seem to have some weird flaw that I can’t deal with.

The only one left in the pool at the moment is the forty six year old record shop owner.  He’s nice.  We have a lot in common.   I met him in the real world as opposed to on the internet.  I’ll see how it goes…  I need a few more meetings before I can make any sort of judgement and being younger than me bothers me a little; which could be deemed as stupid!

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Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!