What happened to the drought..?

Jeez.  The last potential date slid into the sunset; well he is still around but I am listening to my gut – and my gut says run. 

I went to Ballarat the other weekend and came home with a stack of records.  One was from 1985 - “Do Re Mi (Deborah Conway) - "Man Overboard" 1985.

I mentioned to the record shop guy (who is 46) that I had purchased it and he laughed and mentioned his father had been in a long term relationship with Deborah Conway.  He had played around her in the end and she’d written a song about it.  His dad owned some large band venue in Sydney… 

Yeah.  Tree.  Apple.  Not winning me over here…  And the gut is already swirling.  I hate it when people call me Darl… or Honey… it’s stupid.  Okay that isn’t a great reason to kick someone to the kerb but I’m sticking to it!

Every so often, one comes along that you just click with.  The base player was one; until he turned out to be a dick.  Wanting me to go away for the weekend five seconds in and being snooty when I said no.  Weird really.

Now there is a 51 yo Theatre Technician who has zoomed up the ranks to first place.  His first email had my heart thumping.  Hell, it was well written – he used punctuation for crying out loud!  He works in my industry.  He’s smart.  Funny.  Has a vinyl collection!

What the Hell will be wrong with this one…

Fussy or not interested..?

Okay; sometimes I have to ask myself am I super fussy; or am I just not really interested in finding ‘Mr Right’; or even ‘Mr Right Now’?   I mean let’s face it; my track record on the scale of attractive isn’t great so I should be able to find someone who doesn't look quite as bad as Quasimodo, yet is smart and funny.

I find interesting more important than looks – and judging by my past conquests, it shows!

Now I have to admit that there are a lot of bad teeth and draggy leg things out there.  There is also seriously bad fashion and hair so bad you feel as though they should be mocked from here to eternity.  Some wearing socks and sandals that frankly, should have a tin of petrol and a match thrown on their feet…

But there are also some guys that seem nice; okay looking… Probably fun.  Fun if I actually let it get that far.

The trouble is, I’m not getting to the fun part.  I’m vetoing them before they have even gotten a foot in the door!  I find some reason, no matter how obscure, to ensure that I slam the door on them.  Now I have to seriously wonder if inside my head, I know that I'm not actually ready to date yet; and so my head (God love it...) is making sure that I don’t date.

Tonight, the last 'potential' hit the bin.  Why..?  I got this while I was at the football, watching my beloved Cats lose to those swine, Hawthorn.  Even worse, while in the MCC members…

Let's try that again.

Him:  Are you at the game?
Me: Yes
Him:  You're looking okay
Him:  Ha ha. I can hear you from here

Was that so hard..?  No it was not...

I don't do phonetics...  But more importantly... You need to be able to write in English!  

What the hell happened to grammar?  WTF is that just abandoned now???  I mean I actually have it in my profile that spelling and grammar are important!!! 

So there is another potential that just won't do. 
Frankly, I am beginning to think I'm better off on my own.  I could just write myself some fantastic love letters :)  At least the spelling and grammar would be correct!

Driving Miss Daisy

The roller coaster that is ‘dating’ continues with thrilling highs followed by wild dips; or worse, just a shuffling kind of boring train ride.

I’m approaching this with the somewhat pragmatic approach of a project.  I’m not in a hurry; nor am I desperately seeking love.  It would just be nice to have a date every so often when you have to go to one of those things where you are once again, the only single in the damned room! I have a requirements specification or check list already in my head and I adhere to it mercilessly.  On that spec are the ‘must haves’, ‘nice to haves’ and ‘deal breakers’.

I find it amazing and somewhat amusing just how different everyone’s ideal on the ‘musts and breakers’ are.  But let’s face it, we’re all different!  To some, I may seem ruthless but it is with absolutely certainty that I know I’m being judged just as ruthlessly.

When I receive a contact from someone and open it to look at their photo, this is the first “judgement”.  For example, if they’re standing there in socks and sandals then I’m not even pausing to read their opening line, let alone the details.  What would be the point?  For some, it takes a split second to know that I’m never… Not ever… going to be attracted to that face; or handlebar moustache; or belly like a pregnant blow fish.

It’s fair because I’m sure just as many are opening mine and saying, crikey!  I couldn’t be looking at that gap between her front teeth for long!  So as far as I’m concerned, all is fair in the art of love and dating.

I had a date on Thursday night with a guy I’d already met for coffee.  At the first meeting, I'd determined that his teeth weren’t great (there is a make or breaker!!!) and he had a weird limp/draggy leg thing (I didn’t say I couldn’t be a shallow bitch!)  The teeth became a lesser issue as we caught up because he was here visiting the dentist.  Date two also preceded a dental visit and so with a few clever questions, I found out that the dentist wants about 30k to fix his teeth.  I pointed out that teeth are important so it was probably worth it!  The leg, was due to breaking his hip a couple of months ago; so this would get better or maybe get a full hip replacement.

So with those two potential breakers' on the road to being fixed, I decided on date II.

He picked me up in a 180k brand new Mercedes and it all went downhill from there…

I was kind of expecting this version:

What I got, was this version:

Who the Hell buys a 180k black Merc and then proceeds to drive it at 40 KLMS!!!!!!!!!!!  He got tooted for crying out loud!  Someone bipped him for driving too slow and not getting out of the damned way!  When it came time to leave, I asked him if he wanted me to drive, which he thought was hysterical.  Little did he know I was deadly serious…

So he won’t do.  I just couldn't stand driving around like we were going for a spell in the country...  Getting road raged at every turn.   

It had been raining men; and the well is drying up as those I actually like seem to have some weird flaw that I can’t deal with.

The only one left in the pool at the moment is the forty six year old record shop owner.  He’s nice.  We have a lot in common.   I met him in the real world as opposed to on the internet.  I’ll see how it goes…  I need a few more meetings before I can make any sort of judgement and being younger than me bothers me a little; which could be deemed as stupid!

Marshmallow

I have to say, I’m a marshmallow at heart.

This week I’ve been in the city for a health informatics convention.  Pleasing to hear them say they have the best minds in Health Informatics in the one room – pity my boss can’t see that.

Regina Holliday…  Look her up… She is us. She is the normal person who lost her husband to illness and didn’t know… Didn’t understand.  I’m not sure any of us understand…

Look at me now!

You see; you get into a relationship and everything changes.  I changed.  I gained about 15 kilo (give or take).  I figure it’s some sort of internal brainwashing going on...  Like “you treat me like I’m worthless, so let’s just be worthless…”

Yeah. I don't get it either. You think the opposite would make more sense!  And let's face it; it would.

Still, maybe the toxic part wasn't so one sided… 

Although most of our years together, I treated the ex-Squeeze like as the person I loved, towards the end I was getting downright scathing.  Still, I watched that kid lie and manipulate and why wouldn't he since he could see how great it worked.  The sucker that was my partner, would not even question the truth of anything that came out of its mouth.

Between him and the witch of an ex-wife shooting off emails that said “I don’t care what she wants!!! I only care what my pimply faced toad wants” in regards to that kid living in my home whenever they damn well felt like it, touching my stuff.  And to Hell with me and mine.  My family and friends weren't even figured into the equation.  I meant nothing and had no opinion. 

She didn't want that kid, so why she figured I would is anyone's guess.  And the reality is that she knew I didn't. 

The whole thing was about getting rid of me; and oh God, she knew how to play.  She's got it down straight.  She knows the ex-Squeeze better than anyone on the planet; she does everything but turn the key in his back to wind him up.  

But hey; even knowing that, I couldn't have taken it on... Not even to F up her world.  They created that vile child - I'd frankly, I'd have rather sucked out my own eye with a straw than have to put up with it for another second.

Squeeze at the end....

Squeeze at the start...

One can only exist for so long being totally excluded from all discussion/decisions regarding their life, home and belongings; before exploding and telling everyone to ‘F’ themselves sideways with a pogo stick! 

And oh God... I wanted to do that so many damned times...

This week, I realised I’ve somehow

lost most of my Dad’s coffee

table book I was designing

which is in a word, devastating.

I can do it again, but it is serious work.

Still, that loss caused me to trawl through  images frantically in an attempt to locate it and suddenly, I noticed images of the Squeeze – morphing from 'my guy' to 'circle guy'.

Guess life and the crappy circumstances we find ourselves in affects us all!  Seriously; I don't remember those hairy arms though lol

Keep At It...

Snap!  We are in man drought ladies; but I’m telling you… Persevere.  Keep at it!

Why?  Because according to the people I’m meeting, many of the women on dating websites would appear to be stark raving mad with tendencies to stalking. (Lucky they aren’t dating dick men or they’d really know they’re alive!)

I don’t get stalking. Seriously… What the hell is that about..?  Why put yourself in that position..?  Why let someone think that you can’t live without them..?   So my ex’s have always been safe with me. 

Okay…   No one does ‘DEAD to me’ like I do.  I’m careful not to encroach on the new Squeeze life.  Mostly, I haven’t liked anyone enough to even try.  The ex-Squeeze is different, since we were best friends prior to me waking up one morning and discovering the cat speaking to me (which was akin to me and the ex being an item).  I loved him.  Different, I loved him as a friend, the person he was first. 

He was important.  He was my best friend.  No matter that he hurt me with his inability to man up; I didn’t want to do life without my best friend!  I guess in the end, I don’t control the world.

I did try to keep the friendship going, but got tired of the three word answers and so moved into the mutual silence – and that’s fine.  I get it.

But I regress…  So far this weekend, I’ve had a date with a farmer who showed me the 180k merc he just bought (frankly, I think my zoom zoom Mazda is prettier) – But more important than a car, he is nice.  Just a normal, genuine guy.  Even better, he likes me!  Then there is the guy who owns a vineyard in Mildura…  My sister said “snag him or I will”; come to think of it… So did my brother lol

Then today, I went to a vinyl sale and purchased about thirty records; and the owner sent me texts throughout the night and then asked me out.

Girlfriends that are reading this…  Get your ass out there!  The drought may be over. Yay!

And that’s when it dropped…

Ha!  Life went as expected...  :(  Things were moving along so fantastically with the base player that I began to have a sinking feeling wondering when the anvil was going to drop out of the sky and hit me in the head!  I knew it…  Sheesh, I’m basically Wile E Coyote; and I’m not even trying to eat someone.  Just date them.

We met.  It was easy.  It was nice.  I could see myself spending time with him; and liking it!  We had long conversations and hours of text entertainment.  He was funny, articulate, and tall!!!  I could basically wear any damned shoes I liked!  He wasn’t fat, or even tubby – just a gorgeous, flat stomach, long legs and no handles on the side.

He was into music, played in a band for crying out loud!  When he was driving me home the other night he turned the stereo up and sung his lungs out – just like I do!  He was better looking in real life than in his photos, nice clothes...  Groovy clothes...  And his ex-wife is an ex and out of the picture.  Bonus, he only had one adult kid who did not live with him.   He liked me; and I liked him so much that my sister sent me an email to ask “should I be shopping for a frock!?” [You guessed it; she’s a sarcastic bitch {who I love really}]

You may wonder, where in all this, is the anvil is figuring. 

As expected, it dropped out of the sky the night before last when he sent me a long winded text about a tree falling on the roof of his place in the country.  Although we had planned for him to come to my place for dinner tonight, he would instead need to do a service on his car on the Friday prior to heading up to the country tomorrow for emergency roof repair.

Here was an idea; why don’t I come to his place for dinner tonight and then in the morning, we can both head up to the country for the weekend!

Ummmm.   Yeah.  Nah...  What’s wrong with that..?  I mean he told me he has spare rooms in both houses so we could kick back and spend time and get to know one another. Truth tell, I liked him enough that I may have even considered going for about 3.2 seconds.  

Then I thought about what I’d say if the girl came home to tell me she was squeaking off to the country for the weekend with a guy she met on the internet; after only a week or two of conversations and the odd coffee date.   Even worse, I thought about what my Dad would say (something along the line of a shallow grave in Marysville is waiting for me...)

Okay the anvil hadn’t appeared just yet.  I didn’t mind the idea that someone I met and really enjoyed, liked me and was eager to spend time and progress our relationship.

What I didn’t like was his princess moment; where he turned surly because I said no.  Hmmm, hello anvil.  There was no negotiation or discussion…  Just surliness.  And I don’t want that.  I don’t want any dramas or hassles this time; I had enough in the last relationship to last me a lifetime.  I will stay single until the day I die rather than take that on.

I’m not dating a princess.  I just want to date someone who is in to music, relatively normal, doesn’t have some personality disorder kid or a hunchback of a wife still hanging on to his back, leg and wallet.  Someone who doesn’t make me shudder when I look at them; can hold a decent conversation!  They don’t even have to cook.

So the base player is on the dating scrap heap with the lab manager (who wasn’t a dick, but had my internal alarm ringing for other reasons...)

Tomorrow, I’m doing coffee with a farmer who has been emailing me for quite a while.  I haven’t met him until now because I wasn’t sure we have anything in common.  Still, I guess the only way to discover if we do have, is to actually meet.  

Cleaning...

Stupid, I know... but can't talk... cleaning!

So the 6'2" base player, articulate, funny mechanic... is coming to dinner on Friday night.

So I'm walking around the house thinking like this bird that someone sent me.  Yes, I know it's a bird, but it thinks just like me! [the angry parrot]  Seriously, I'd love to own this thing and have it sitting on my balcony screeching to the street!

But back to reality...  Am I out of my ever living mind!  A date!  Another date!  And he is ringing my bell.  Usually, I'm relatively frosty - at least for a while (like date ten).  On date one with my base player, I leaned over and brushed icing sugar from his chin.. twice (from a vanilla slice).  How strange that I would do that; but worse... He felt good.  Firm chin.  Good skin.  Just good.  And right.

Dinner!  But hey... Oh... He's nice.  He is like me.  He is a base player.  Has a record collection.  The other day when he drove me home, he turned the stereo up and sung his head off - ahhhh just like me; except he actually has a good voice.

So I have my menu.  I'm cleaning.

I'm basically just waiting for that anvil to drop out of the sky and hit me in the head; because there has to be something wrong with him!  Some catch...

Still Alive...

I'm still alive but have been flat out; both at work and home...  When I get time to sit at the computer, I'm trying to actually write and trust me, there hasn't been a lot of that either.

I spent the last two weeks at work writing a concept brief asking for twenty million dollars (and I'll be asking for a pay rise if I get it!) - even if I am still looking for a new job  :)

Friday night I went to see The Models with a friend of mine.  Sean Kelly remains oh so cool I have to say and it was good to see that they are recording!

Sean Kelly in action at the Flying Saucer Club

I got some great video of him singing "Big on Love" but it wouldn't let me upload a huge file so the blog world only gets a photo.

Last night, my brother and sister in law came up for the night and we went to the Rooftop Bar 3 doors down for a pizza and got home at 1.30 after spending four hours dancing and drinking red wine.

Today, I'm going back there on a date. (they are going to think I've got no life so just have to hang out there I guess!)  I haven't had great luck so far in the dating stakes.  Actually, I'm not really putting much effort in so I can't whine!  Still, I figure when the time is right I'll meet someone and frankly, I'm having a pretty good time with single life at the moment; other than the fact that I seem to have no time to even catch up on housework.

And the reality is that I'm not sure where I am going...  I'm applying for jobs in different areas so I guess I'm letting fate dictate!  But if I meet someone, the ability to just late fate take me where it may is kind of off the table.

Having said that, I really like the guy that I'm catching up with today.  I really like him.  He's funny (a prerequisite for any date in my world).  He's tall, 6'2" - so I don't have to retire my heels again.  And he is the base player in a band.   Basically, he ticks all the boxes!

Later:

And wow...  after today's date...  He is definitely ticking all the boxes.  If I wasn't so tired I'd be literally skipping!  Wow.  I forgot what this feels like.