The Table of Shame; Updated

The list grows....

Dating Update!!

Yep.  You guessed it...  I feel as though I'm on a merry go around they are coming and going so fast!

You may wonder what the problem was this time. Well, try the alarming number of short term women he would appear to have dated (and slept with); and add to that, his penchant to tell me about them.

He talks too much. I didn't think it was possible that anyone on the planet could talk more than me. He does! Wow; I at least can do moments of silence! Throw in a goodly whack of velvet, a bit of vegetarianism and a dose of "let's move in together!" and I'm literally running mock two with my hair on fire.

Far too scatty for me, and that's saying something!

So we go back to the drawing board. Okay, we are a step closer; at least I've now been kissed! But at this rate, I figure I'll be classified as a virgin again in about 6.3 years :(

The World Changes…

It’s funny.  One minute I’m in ‘likelihood of date two is zero’ land and documenting photos of how freaking horrendous it is out there.  The next, I’m walking hand in hand through the park after a three hour breakfast, sitting on a park bench and kissing someone.  Yeah.  Weird.  I haven’t kissed anyone other than the ex for years and years.

Where will it go..?  No idea.  I know I’ve hidden my profile, so I guess I won’t be throwing any weirdo rows on my table of horrors for a while.

Who is he..?  He is a 6’3” (I could wear any damned shoes in my wardrobe and still come out 8-10 inches shorter than him).  He is intelligent.  Into music (has vinyl and hates country!)  An incredibly fit gardener who is as slim as he is tall…  Swims every day so good shoulders and I’ll assume, tight butt.  Lives on the coast but is moving back to Ormond in a couple of months.

He told me from the start he’s not rich, which seriously doesn’t bother me in the slightest.  They just have to want to aim towards a future; then picked me up in a brand new Audi.  He has three kids, all intelligent; two ex-wives – each of whom he can sit and break bread with and after two dates, would appear to be crazy about me.  Thinks I’m gorgeous!  Incredibly beautiful, smart and funny!  Wants to hold my hand while we walk down the street!

But…. He is a bit of a velvet wearer.  He does drink (thank God) but is a vegetarian – yet not averse to anyone else being a total carnivore [thank God!]  Doesn’t take medicine if it can be avoided, preferring alternate medicine (God, I’m dating the Harridan); is a lefty sigh; is somewhat sensitive and looking to the stars and horoscopes!

How weird.  I'm going out with myself!  Just a way more intense version than I! I remember sitting in the movie theatre with the Squeeze early on and him laughing because we hadn't even got past the shorts and I was crying...  I suspect I will be the Squeeze in this relationship.  Now this ought to be interesting!

Can it last?  No idea, but I think I’m keen to find out!

Kill Me Now; I’m single...

Although I have been in ‘probably second date Siberia’, I continue on my quest.  I don’t need the ‘love of my life’ or even the ‘move right in’ guy.  I would just like someone who I connect with, that’s happy to go on the odd date to see a band and or be the partner at all those couple functions that come up – that I continue to attend alone!

I feel as though I’ve been on a merry go around; and each date is actually some giant fist that flies out of a darkened corner to knock me off the ride.  Ohhhhh and some of them have been like a punch to the face.

I decided I would start a little table to keep track of just who the Hell is out there in the land of “Kill Me Now; I’m single!” [below] and I will maintain it.  Down the track it will provide me with hours of entertainment!

On a separate note, I caught up with the ex-Squeeze yesterday.  In some ways, I feel as though I’ve got my best friend back.  He is a damned fool because I loved him and was great for him; but hey, that isn’t my problem anymore and it won’t stop me from building a future with someone, when I get past the hurdle of those on my list that I would rather suck my own eye out with a straw than have another date with!

Yes, yes.  I’m a horrible person; shocking.  Except like me, they are putting themselves out there…  Just like I am.  I'm probably on a blog somewhere, exaggerating my gap...

Upside is that I did have a date today...  So far, he is ringing the bells.  No major issues.  We are catching up tomorrow for breakfast....

Wagging

I wagged today.  I just needed a day to myself.  Not that I achieved much.  I spent hours attempting to eradicate a virus from my computer; I have no idea why these morons develop this crap, it's so annoying.  I also went for an interview; it would freak me out if I actually get to the next round but hey ho, sometimes you've got to throw your hat in the ring.  I always feel like an idiot at these things which is kind of weird, considering I actually do know my job.

So.  The weekend.  Hmm the date on Saturday…  I don’t know why one person attracts and one doesn’t, but I am struggling to meet anyone who ticks the boxes.  It’s not like there are that many boxes to tick!  I don't have a never ending list of demands for crying out loud.  Just normal stuff.  Literate. Funny. Not married. Not a woman. Likes music. That should have a pool of about 3 million guys you'd imagine... But no. 

So in the world of dating; then there was none.

Yesterday, I went to a record fair which the 'Record Guy' had told me about.  I grabbed several Stones albums and a fantastic Maryanne Faithful; so much for saving…

I’m not sure where they advertise a record fair but I’ve never seen one advertised before.  This one was like the Boxing Day sales rush!  There were boxes and tables and more tables and more boxes!!!  Records!  Everything you could want, including a record cleaning service.  There were young, old, tattooed!  It was fantastic.

At least my record empire grows.   I was there about three minutes when I got a “hi” text from the 'Record Guy' (frankly, I was surprised he saw me in the crowd but I may have been the only blonde!)  I did seek him out to say hi and grab a bag of records he had set aside for me; it was kind of like a drug deal…  Bag comes out from under the counter; money exchanges hands…  Fun.

The fair was full on and packed to the rafters so I didn’t get to spend more than three minutes talking to him but in those three minutes, I remembered why I had said yes to going out with him in the first place.  Not typically good looking (leave it to me to like someone ‘unusual’) but “something” there.  I guess you'd call it chemistry!  (yay!)

On my drive home I got a text from him to say “you looked fantastic today” which started more to and fro in the land of text.   Now we are going out Wednesday night.  Should be interesting…  I’m still uncertain about that whole 6-7 years younger; but that is just maybe where you have to go if you want someone interesting, into music and still fully functioning in all the areas that count  ;)  

Since then, it’s been raining prospective dates…

I awoke to two emails this morning, both from pleasant looking, normal type men that had obviously read my profile (rather than trying the shotgun tactic); one of which I have been having a great time in email land with!  Then one from a fifty year old attractive lesbian;  (Maybe if she had of sent that after the date with 'Driving Miss Daisy', lol, but not quite ready to give up just yet.)  Then one from a tubby forty-something married guy - they don't have a generic reply that says "Dear Moron, I guess you didn't read my profile.  I hope your dick drops off. Good luck in your search!"

Snap.  Do I really have to go back to work tomorrow…?