Thinking about it...

Boy my roller coaster of emotions are sucking.  It is like the old me is back!

I've been unable to sleep for the last couple of weeks, getting about 6 hours.  It seems, gone is the fantastic life of 10-12 hours of absolute deep sleep!  Then there is the emotions!  I keep arguing with myself!

Yesterday, when we got back from the music festival, I was so buggered that I went to bed.  Got back at 1 pm to a clean house, all I did was empty my case and put my washing on and then staggered to bed!  I was still awake at 11 pm. I wanted to kill my brain but thoughts went around and around!

So the Squeeze...
I think in reality, that I don't want to go anymore than the Harridan wants me there.  Admittedly for differing reasons.  She will be manipulating again, but stuff it.  I just don't care.

So I have my answer. I won't go and stuff the one upmanship. The Squeeze can rest easy on that score. But having said that, I won't be put in a box again. I mean either I'm going to be in a relationship with him and be a part of his life; or I'm not.