Monday, June 30, 2014

Focus on the Future

I don’t want to dedicate my blog to the ex-Squeeze because frankly, he doesn’t deserve it.  In truth, he really was a crappy partner with a totally deformed romance gene.  Besides, I am trying to focus on the future; more importantly, a future that includes writing.  At the moment, it appears to be working.  I have a new found passion and I am annoyed that I have to go to work; which seems to just be an interruption in my story telling (oh, and paying bills etc...)

Still; I’m prepared to use history and memory as blog fodder and I did have a rather amusing thought this morning as I drove to work.  I was lost somewhere between wondering why the same songs are played repeatedly over and over and over and a glimmer of joy to have Hughsey back on Nova when I remembered a conversation that we had years ago; back when we were “buddies”.

He texted me out of the blue and our two fingered conversation when something like this:

Ex-Squeeze:   “I got dumped by the Doctor!”
Me:  “How come!??”
Ex-Squeeze:   “Her dog died and she said I didn’t show any empathy or compassion…”
Me:  “So what!  It’s just a damned dog!”
Ex-Squeeze:   “Thank God.  I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me!

Of course I’ve used a punctuation license here because he refuses to use any form of punctuation, even in text; but I just can’t do that, not even for an accurate account of history.

The amusing part of that is that driving to work, I could almost picture the next phase of that conversation…

Ex-Squeeze:   “The friendship got dumped by the Ex!”
Someone:  “How come!??”
Ex-Squeeze:   “Her dad died and she said I didn’t show any empathy or compassion…”
Someone:  “So what!  It’s just a damned dad!”
Ex-Squeeze:   “Thank God.  I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me!”

News flash noodle head; there is something wrong with you.
I should have seen the past as a sign. Fact is I probably did, but ignored it.
Or maybe I just didn't have any understanding of the relationship he was in; figuring it was a "new", casual type thing.

Either way, you can't be friends with someone for 12-15 years; date/live with then for 4-5 years and the same month that you break up; amicably I might add, not even send a single text when her Dad dies!  What the Hell is that about..?  I can't even imagine doing that to him...

Still, heartache aside, it was an amusing little thought on the way to work.

The upside is that since word spread through my network that he is “seeing someone”; the replies have been quite amusing and along the lines of “hope she likes snot!” or “glad you got rid of the wart!”  Or my personal favourite, “he was a child, searching for someone to put up with his dysfunctional family shit!”  All absolutely 100% correct; except maybe the wart comment, because even though he is a retarded, spineless emotional cripple; I still like him.

But oh how I love my family and friends; leave it to them to make me laugh.

Tonight, I start Belly Dancing lessons again.  I haven't done that since I was young and living in the sticks but I truly loved it and for that year, I had a washboard stomach.  I’ve lost 9.2 kilo since moving out but I can’t seem to move the next bit so I’m hoping this will help!  Aside from the physical benefits; it is one of the most empowering things I’ve ever done to love your body!

Dating arena…  I had two dates on the weekend; one with a Scot who has a degree in Physics and Engineering and one with a South African Fireman who was well travelled and incredibly interesting.  How did they go..?  Both went okay really and I will probably/maybe go out with one or both of them again however, I’m not in a hurry.  

Unlike the ex who is obviously not one for browsing; I’m not desperate to be in something again without giving myself time to think.  In fact, I’m kind of happier on my own, spending time looking at who I am; working out what I want and where I fit in the world.  And writing....

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Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!