Sunday, March 17, 2013

What’s that throbbing in my head!

Today I woke up early with a stress headache.  Yeah.  No wonder.

Yesterday, I kept all forms of communication to a minimum and spoke only when spoken to.  Not easy when I had a road trip to my nieces house, which is over an hour away; the girl sitting beside me focusing on her phone.  By the time I got out of the car my nerves were screaming.

And I'm biting my tongue all over the place; like when he purchased my $5 migraine tablets and handed me the box and the receipt!  The Harridan drops the kid's saxophone and not only does he pay the $300 repair bill, he actually drives over to pick it up, get it fixed and deliver it back.  But oh no, here I am; scamming him for $5.

And now, these two fools that I have the misfortune of loving, have adopted a pack mentality.  So here I am; silently packing boxes with this creepy Lord of the Flies vibe floating around.  I just know any minute now, one of them is going to start yelling “Kill the pig! Cut his throat! Kill the pig! Bash him in!”   And we all know who is Piggy in this scenario.

Usually, I would attempt to bridge the gap.  But to be perfectly honest, I don’t want to speak to either of them.  I don’t even like them at the moment and it is getting worse as the minutes tick by.    Then, over breakfast, the Squeeze made mention of my blog.  

Ahhh, so this has what had transformed him into a sullen creature sitting in the corner of the sofa with headphones on; ignoring the world.  My blog has created this gargoyle!  I feel somewhat buoyed by that.  And do you see how I did that?  I literally took ownership of ‘gargoyle boy’.  It was my words; my emotions and pain that created this unlikeable fellow. 

However, my glimmer of joy is dashed as he mutters the words ‘made up’ and I realise that as per everything else that is ugly in his world, he will just ignore the truth of my words, choosing instead to direct a silent judgement towards me.

How is it possible that he cannot see the direct correlation between the ruling authority that is the Harridan and my all-consuming misery? 

It is quite simple arithmetic to me.
A + B = C.
And if he wants the world to be C, keep things as they are.  But if he wants life to be A, remove B from the damned equation!!!!  (For the record, my thoughts are B = Bitch (he he),  C = Catastrophe and A = Armistice). 

In short grasshopper, you don’t have to snatch the pebble from my bloody hand; nothing that difficult required…  Just cease enabling the Harridan control show.

Seems easy, doesn’t it?  But it isn’t for him I’m afraid.  Making excuses for it only enables her psychotic behaviour.  And that he won’t correct it, does that mean that he is addicted to his role of enabler?  Is there some perverse madness on his side of the fence, as well as her psychosis to contend with?

Friday, on our way to the funeral, he turned to me in the car and said “don’t be surprised if she turns up to the funeral.  That’s just the sort of thing she’d pull…”  -  

They had been separated for 4 years prior to our relationship.  We have been together for 4 years.  She treats him like horrendously and his family knows this.  Why would anyone want to turn up uninvited at a place you where everyone thinks you are vile..?  And yet he is right; after all, she turned up here with our house full of Boxing Day merriment and demanded he go out the front, dragging the kids behind him so that they could all watch the wrath of the Harridan meting out justice for him daring to try to eliminate her leash.

Seriously.  Why?  What am I missing..?

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Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!