Yay! Long weekend!

Well I'm off to the Port Fairy Music Festival when I finish work at about 2.30 today!  Believe it or not, I've never been. How the Hell does one get to my age and not go..?  I'll admit, I quite like the sound of moseying from tent to tent and seeing different acts; it will be great fun; which kind of leaves me dumb founded to think I've never been.

Last night I tossed and turned over the Squeeze.  Should I stay in a relationship where I'm never put first..? To be honest, about 2 am this morning I was thinking 'probably not'.  But this morning I feel much brighter.  He may not of course, but I'm not responsible for others feel.

The reality is that if my family thought of him as his family thought of me, I'd have a hard time too.  Its hard to know when you put your partner first; and when you put your kids first.  I figure a wedding is when you put your kids first.  Of course it would be nice to come first; even once...

Glad I'm brain damaged....

Every so often, I have to sit back and think 'God! I'm glad I've got brain damage!'

And I really do.  I know the old me.  She would have been screaming and hollering!  Like a banshee! I'd be walking around the house furious; kicking the dog! (which I wouldn't, simply because my brain damage allowed me to get, and love, Sharpie!!)  And to do it all, even recognising that it would be utterly pointless.

Now, I find that I'm hurt, but I'm okay. In fact, it was probably expected; knowing what I know.  And the reality is, I remember my life as much as anyone does.  I just struggle to speak about it; but it is all still there. I remember what an utter, freaking, psychotic bitch she was.

So it seems as though the Harridan won't allow me to go to their son's wedding.  How do I feel..?  Well the Squeeze hurt me; not once, but twice.  But my family after the first night, said "are you certain" to which I replied that I was. Hell, it may be an awful mistake, but I have to try.  And ever since, he is one of the family again.  My kids; my larger family accept him without issue. Even the sister who whenever I have mentioned his name in the last three years, says "...he couldn't even come to Dad's funeral..." has stopped.

And his family...  Well Kid (3) is civil to me but that is about it; no to going to the wedding. (Civil, huh!?  This is the kid that picked his nose and wiped it on my wall with a "take that bitch..)  Kid (1) I haven't seen so I don't know how he is; but I always liked him.  Kid (2) I liked; but after hearing his mother scream about me (abusively) said she wouldn't go if I was going; decided that I shouldn't come.

Frankly, I'd test the theory, because I'd be buggered if anyone would keep me from going to my child's wedding! But there is no point in saying all that; we are only a couple of weeks I suppose.  Who cares if it has been 15-20 years in the making. 

Just once, I'd love the Squeeze to say to the kids:
"You never put me first. I'm bringing her!!"

I guess the reality is, it doesn't bode well for me...

Crap. Work. Again.

I have to go to work again. I was just about to write I don't know why; but I do. I like to eat... Drink... Do stuff!

My hours have increased at work; I'm now doing a 5 hour day with a half hour lunch break. Hmm this throws my day out. Lunch has become relevant now; and more than my vita wheat. I don't mind the work really, especially when I get left alone to sit and design stuff; but the answering of the phone still occurs when it rings. I decided that I may as well answer; it keeps my brain expanding and truth tell, I was never great at it...

Yesterday I went for a job. It was for a community engagement officer with a health service.  Yes; me... out there... talking!

Well suffice to say I don't think I got it and when push comes to shove, I'm glad!!!

Sharpie :(

I miss my dog!  The Squeeze took him home for the next two weeks while I go to the Port Fairy Blues Festival; and he'll look after him! It's just that it is kind of lonely here without him. Well it starting to get that way; but it sure is clean!

Gahhh I'm buggered!

The Squeeze came down on Friday so we watched movies and I cooked dinner.  It was a normal evening, which I like. I don't think I'd go out if I could avoid it... But you have to do stuff; like go to work...

Yesterday was a whole other kettle of fish.

Friday night my brother text me to ask if we wanted to go see Robbie Williams for 200 bucks.  He had a client that couldn't go so he took his ridiculously priced tickets and let us have theirs. I did want to see him, but hell, I wasn't paying 400-500 dollars. I would if it was Ryan Adams or Cold Play; but not Robbie.

So our day started off busy and continued right down to the end like it.  We took Sharpie for a walk at Bancoora Beach.  He loves it, running around like a mad thing. Then we took him home and took my car in to have new tyres fitted; going out for breakfast while the had their heads under the car.  We came home showered and got changed and off we went to pick up my sister and her husband.  

I had decided before I was going to go to Robbie that I would drop them all down there to see him, come home and make a late dinner before picking them up.  So I drove them about ten minutes away and dumped one lot and then went back for my brother and his wife.

We got down there and my sister had picked a great spot on the lawn and set up chairs, which was great.  The acts were brilliant.  Robbie was superb. But that was when it all started... My God. What a bloody disaster!  When it came time to come home.  1.5 hours later... We got there!  Jesus... If I had to hear my sister in law say "this ruins it!!!" or my brother in law say "Jules phone is just over here!" I'd have lost my head!!!!!  (she had lost her phone hiking through the paddocks trying to get to where we could pick them up easily - and he was tracking it...)

God; they were funny but I realised what the Squeeze goes through with a bunch of drunk people and him sober...