All through the house...

Perhaps there is more than one thing stirring in this night before Christmas...

For one, it's not Christmas. For two, I'm at a hospital; not home in bed. Three; oh hell, I don't remember 3. Blame it on the brain damage. 

Day 6 and I'm losing my temper. I should have lost it on day 3 but on no; the new model of me; the Bain damaged one thinks everyone needs a further shot.  Further shot be damned. Just gives them time to line me up. 

But they got it, more time. And before I got one Neurosrgeon in here to talk to me. 

I cried, talked and bemoaned to the neurosurgon that finally came to let me know what's happening. So happy was I just to be told. 

That's all I wanted. Day 6 of watching life pass me by is enough. 

One Seventeen.

I'm in hospital. It's quiet. Aside from the girl snoring!!! And she isn't even supposed to be here!  

I waited til now for the girl opposite to turn down the light. The old woman next to me to turn off the tv; or at least turn down the sound. They brought a guy in late with a suspected fractured neck. He's as quiet as a church mouse but his girlfriend!!

:(

Oh... The time is one seventeen!

Hospital again...

I should say something; like 'damn it!'...  But I can't.  How does my year get worse and worse.. 

New drugs. Old problem.

I've hit the third lot of anti-depressant drugs in the last 2 months.  Wooaa; its not a pretty site.  I don't like taking them. Who would.  They make me feel like a crawled into a bath; and I couldn't care less who is watching.  I can't "feel".

In order to block out the constant stream of tears, and I'm not unaware that it is for no reason but can't seem to stop it, I have to take them.  But in order to be "me", I can't take them.

So tomorrow I'm going to try half a one.

Jesus.   A bit of help would go astray God!!!!!

Crying Continues!

I've seen my general practitioner, a guy for my eyes and my neurosurgeon; not necessarily in that order.

In amongst it all I've been crying my eyes out.  I wish I could say that I don't know why; but I think I've got a bloody good reason!

Upside is, my doctor put me back on the medication, just a different one!
Antidepressants designed to make your life great!  So by the end of the week I should no longer feel like killing myself!!!

Well if not great, then bearable...