So You Want to Become a Professional Wrestler?

I suspect nobody wakes up at six years old and says, “When I grow up, I’d like to wear sequins and jump from ropes, on people.”

And yet, somewhere out there, a young person is watching grown men in tights insult each other before body-slamming one another through a table or chair and thinking, “Yes. That’s the career for me.”

Professional wrestling is fascinating because it might be the only occupation where being loud, dramatic and completely unreasonable is considered a job skill.

And I don't know; I'd say the money is pretty good. I mean look at The Rock...

The first thing you need is a name. You can’t just be Steve from Geelong. No. You need something terrifying. “The Crusher.” “The Executioner.” “The Viper.” Or if you’re over sixty and your knees click when you stand up, perhaps “The Arthritic Menace.” lol and you'd be too scared you'd break something so there is no jumping off the ropes for you!

But, then you need a costume. Normal people wear sensible clothing. Wrestlers apparently raid the reject section of Spotlight and emerge covered in glitter and fake leather and usually, bad hair.

Of course, wrestling isn’t just about athletic ability. It’s about creating a character. A villain. A hero. Someone the crowd loves or someone they desperately want to see punched in the face.

Come to think of it, that’s exactly how politics works these days.

Nobody debates ideas anymore. They create personas. They insult opponents. They perform outrage. Their supporters cheer wildly. Facts are optional. Drama is mandatory.

Perhaps politicians should simply stop pretending and embrace it.

Imagine Question Time with entrance music.

The Prime Minister bursts through the curtain to AC/DC. Which kind of reminds me of when Joan Kirner was premier; she dressed in leathers and sang Joan Jett, I love rock and roll. I think White was on guitar (the Minister for Health)

It was hysterical!!! I loved her for that... Joan Kirner

The Opposition Leader enters riding a Harley-Davidson while smoke cannons explode.

The independents come out carrying steel chairs.

At least we’d all know what we’re watching.

And unlike politics, professional wrestlers have the decency to admit it’s entertainment.