Diet time…. Again!

I got up on Monday morning and finally forced myself to hop on the scales.  It didn’t frighten me at least; but it wasn’t pretty.  I’m oozing out of my clothes; and I’m buggered and I have to admit, it is because I’m a lard ass that I feel so tired!  It was strange how the last time I was living with the Squeeze, I gained 10 kilos.  10!!! Kilos!!!!

Damn and blast him to Hell! Ok, this time I’ve got a grip and 8 kilos; but that is nearly insurmountable.

So as ‘we’; (because he did it, he can bloody diet with me), undergo a diet once again, I’m going to be ruthless!  I’m saying NO to all the yummy stuff he fills the fridge with. Last night, he ate chocolate (he said he ate it only for me, because I lack will power when it’s in your face) but I said no.  

And in reality, rather than sit down and move into a vegetative state in front of the television last night, I walked the dog. Cleaned the bathroom and all in all, had more energy than I have had in a long time.

Sunday; and all is well...

I’m finally starting to feel better. Not great by any means; but at least human.

Yesterday I finished work, picked up the Squeeze and dropped him at the station.  He went to Melbourne to see some jazz players. Not me; I’d rather have my nails yanked out with a pair of pinking shears than view that. It’s not jazz in the real sense of the word; you won’t see Ella Fitzgerald belting one out; it’s every God damned instrument begging for attention... screaming ‘look at me! Look at me!!!!’ My brain can’t handle it. It couldn’t before I got brain damaged!

So instead I stayed at home to rearrange my sock drawer or something...

In fact I stayed home with a busted internet. I am still not sure what’s wrong with it but playing anything is impossible, so I took the drive and I’ve been watching stuff from there! Which is okay; that drive houses about a million shows I want to see.

My mother came to breakfast which was plain old bacon and eggs with chatting, which has been my only interaction with another human lol.

So apart from the house work, which I’ve done; I’ve looked after Sharpie, my dog and Shadow and Shupac; our two adorable kittens. I’ve worked in the backyard putting everything back where it belongs after the new fence went up, and I’ve got to prepare for the concreter who is coming to do some work. All in all, it’s been a productive weekend so far!

I’ve been in bed by 10 both nights, which is probably helping me get over whatever the hell bug I got.

I don't believe it!

I'm sick.  I feel sick.  In the stomach; like I'm going to puke but if I start, well, then I won't stop!

What worse, is there is a guy here building a fence. I feel like there are people coming and going as I get stuff done around the house; but I wasn't going to be home and because its a fence, I just thought "yeah; its a side fence!"

Now I feel like saying "just do it; don't ask me anything unless you want to get puked on!"

Ooooo Brains!

Brain plasticity crap...

I couldn’t remember how to actually type in my blog whilst on my phone. Read it; sure! Write something; no way. I’d be frustrated if I felt negativity!  And I love the fact that I can't. 5 years ago, I would have stressed; then swore... Then screamed. Either way, I'd have sat there until the end of time until I worked it out.

But here I am, day two, sort of brain damaged (enough to milk it) and I am forced to understand that I am not the same. My brain is not the same. I’m no longer ‘me’; or the old me at least. No stress. I just walk away; or as in this case, roll over and go to sleep!

But the reality is the same old me was bloody hard work. I was hard work! And then I have to admit it; I like like the new ‘me’ better... :)

Wow! It is just over a year since I wrote!

Amazing to me is the brains ability to fix itself; brain plasticity and all that!

It is a year, or just over since I wrote on here.  God; what I've been through in that time.  I had the year from HELL in 2014, and a `not much better' couple of years since then - but I think its finally turning the corner!

2014, my relationship finished. Then my Dad died in the March which was unbearably hard.  Then I had brain surgery in the November where they gave me brain damage. If I could have understood anything in that first year, I would have started screaming and I doubt I would have stopped.

Fast forward to now...

I am living in Geelong, in a gorgeous little house that I bought.  I am working full time at the NDIS and doing what I love (and didn't lose with my brain damage).  I moved in with Quigley and although it's not the romance of the century (the cat's get more affection than I do) - I find that life is great!

Sigh.   Wonder what Mac Truck is around the corner...?