Want to Play with Me?

We’ve had the kid all week – it’s such a joy.   The chest rattling cough persists.  For a kid whose ‘body is his temple’…  Good bacteria and all that velvet wearing crap – he is sick more often than any of mine who were immunised and had antibiotics during the rare moments in childhood they required them.

My daughter sent me this link the other day.    

My God; how perfectly a two second clip can sum up this kid.  And yes, it does sound that horrible.

I’m sure he will continue the duck cough through next week – although it’s one of those magical ones that is not leaving germs nor are any of us able to contract it.  It’s a miracle…

The highlight of this week was hearing the kid want to slink off home for the afternoon on Thursday, as it was ‘parent teacher’.  The Squeeze, muttered something about the kid staying at school to do homework but I knew he would capitulate, (as did the kid) and so in fear of him creeping through my stuff, I left my desk drawer partially open and photographed how I left everything.

This may sound weird to the casual reader however; when I sent a text to the girl later that day, she replied with "you mean like I left the strategically positioned slipper at my door so I'd know if he went in my room..?

When I got home, the kid and Squeeze had skipped off to parent teacher with the Harridan and the first thing I did was check out my drawer; only to find it now tightly closed.  I tried not to instantly jump to conclusions, so I asked the Squeeze later that night what he had been fossicking through my desk for, to which he was honestly mystified.  Not him obviously.  So I asked why the kid had gone through my desk as I didn’t want him in our room.  Sorry, but our domain is off limits.

I was immediately met a “don’t be ridiculous!’ (could this guy be any  more delusional if he tried..?)  So I mentioned that things were not as I left it and anyone creeping through my stuff was, in short, disturbing.

At off times I have a vision of this kid dressed in his mother’s ‘velvet’, wig on head and holding a butchers knife above his head – so the thought of him anywhere near my things is just wrong.

Already this week he had broken our usual routine by running to the sofa to move in on our “Suits” night.  Usually, it is the Squeeze, my daughter and I watching while we chat and laugh while the kid masturbates or strangles kittens up in his room.  This week, the kid ran to place himself in my daughters spot.  So she went upstairs and I sat, body turned to the other side of the room and being creeped out with him sitting only four feet away and slightly behind me…  He didn’t say a word.  He didn’t laugh or cry or gasp.  He had ‘nothing’.  He always has nothing.  He is in fact, the emptiest person I have ever met.

But back to my desk…  The Squeeze decided to go upstairs to ask him (and of course, he isn't going to lie) and then proceeds to come back down and say “no, he hadn’t been in our room.”  Oooookayyyy.  So once again, I am a liar?  Or delusional…  Or stupid… Or forgetful...  Maybe just mistaken?  It doesn’t matter what; obviously once again it is me – never Mr Creepy.