Sunday, September 15, 2013

Romantic Dates. Ummm what are they..?

So after deciding to avoid blogging re the peniewhacker, I was left to wonder just what the Hell I’d blog about now when the Squeeze assisted. 

He muttered the word 'date' and then we were off to head out on our own.  Trust me, ‘us’ time doesn’t come along very often…  So we headed off to Chadstone to grab something to eat and then see a movie all smiles at getting out on our own.

I should have known before I agreed that this was never going to be ‘romance – they name is Squeeze’, mainly due to the fact that he is crap at it.  Still, I live in hope.

So much for hope.

It started with “can you grab the tickets online?” – like this idiot isn’t online 24/7 and could have easily accomplished the task.  Of course if he actually logged on to do it, that would mean he would have to pay for it, and we can't have that.

In the car on the way, I mention that since I purchased the tickets, he is on lunch.  Anticipating what this means to him, as opposed to what it means to me; I continue on to say that maybe we should head to Oakleigh so that we can get something decent to eat, prior to going to the movies. .

Yeah, they have burgers, pancakes and Nando’s at Chaddy.  They have all sorts of stuff that is going to enter my mouth, pass my gullet and then head for my ass and as per my post this morning, I’m kind of trying to avoid that.

He hums and hars and we end up in Chadstone anyhow.  So he swaggers to the counter with my pre purchased tickets (like some romantic guy, taking his woman to the movies) and then it’s off to find some lunch.

We twist and turn through corridors and end up in the food court.  I mention that long ago, a friend of mine had seen a cockroach in one of these places and I’m not doing lunch in a food court.  So we compromise, noticing a place off to the side, with what appears to be relatively real food (no cockroaches in the window at least) and it looks clean enough.

I felt a little bit guilty because there seriously wasn’t anything you could get that was going to make me feel like I’d stuck to my promise to watch it, so I settled on a focaccia and we moved into one of the red fake leather booths with me determined to eat slowly and no matter how good it was, stop when I had eaten enough.

We were just starting to actually begin some kind of conversation when out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of brown skit across our table.  I jump to my feet, holding my plate and the Squeeze continued eating while watching it do a 360 in the middle of the table.  The Myers sales woman in the next booth rescued me by grabbing it in a serviette and removing the body – but of course, my hunger has now dissipated.

So I watch the Squeeze eat, feeling sick but also a little grateful that my diet had stuck, albeit thanks to a critter.  Then we head for the movie.  I have no idea what it is even about but soon found out it was some slasher pic called ‘You’re next’.  Lots of blood.  Zip romance.  More blood.  

Yeah.  I’m living the romance dream.

Living the dream.

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Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!