Monday, July 30, 2012

Bat Bat Baby

The weekend was uneventful.  Well considering that the Harridan was up to no good and there was some funny business going on Friday night; in that suddenly, the kid wanted to stay home.  Personally, I’d rather put clag in my own eye than spend five minutes in the same room with her; but hey, to each their own.

So he didn’t arrive here until Saturday after soccer when we all slunk off to hillbilly heaven for a trivia night at the soccer club.  Oh the joy!  Even more of a joy was the bullying text message that threatened the Squeeze not to leave early.   Seriously…?  Or what?  Personally, I wanted to get up smack bang in the middle of the last round and say “we are leaving, text the harridan and tell her we are off!”  

And I would have loved to have left early.  There were plenty of people there in the usual velvet wearers garb – ie: socks and sandals; the bright streaks of red through the hair that says “see how trendy I am”.

The questions all seemed quite mismatched and the entrée was a tray of pastries that had calories actually leaking out on to the plate – yet they were exquisite when compared to the perfect, white, cardboard flavoured deep fried chicken schnitzel and chips for main.

Still… we survived.  Only one minor “moment” when the kid went and took a “winners” box from the main table – and we were of course not winners.  My comment that it was theft was only met by ridiculous fifteen your old argument and ignorance by the Squeeze who shrugged and made excuses when I asked “why didn’t you make him take that back…?”

Sunday was housework.  While cleaning, I noticed that the kid has dirty encrusted, ragged toenails that are so long, he could swing from a tree branch with no fear of falling.  Like a vampire bat!  I raised my eyebrow and asked how the branches were swinging lately, but I’m sure the Harridan is pushing him not to cut them.  Hell, we can’t have another 1.5 year ingrown toenail episode!

I cleaned out the pantry and watch the ticking clock until they went out the door and I poured a glass of red and yelled “yahoo!” as my daughter and niece arrived in time for us to go out for lunch.

When I came home, I bought the washing in and low and behold, the pterodactyl with the five inch toenails had shredded the freaking sheet!

I don’t care what the Harridan says about toenails, but that thing isn’t getting into my bed next weekend without them trimmed!!!

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Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!