Monday, October 13, 2014

Walk a crooked mile…

To see another God damned crooked smile!


The smile on the right is mine!
The smile on the left may be exaggerated; but not by much!

WTF is that about..?  Seriously?  How do you get to be in your fifties walking around with teeth jutting out at weird angles?  I’m almost certain there is a mirror in every house; which therefore leaves me with the theory that there is a whole slew of idiots out there that cease to see their real self.

I actually work with a guy who I suspect has a magic mirror.  He gets older and wider (and more anal); yet the “perfect woman” he is looking for is young, rich and positively svelte.  It’s as though he can’t see what he looks like anymore, preferring to see the younger version of himself when he looks in the mirror.

I’m pretty certain I don’t do that.  I’m not by any stretch of the imagination perfect.  I’ve got extra kilos – but I like them.  I’ve got laughter lines!  My skin isn’t as taut as it once was (I’m not sure it ever was lol).  Gravity is pulling me down!  But I make an effort with what I’ve got.  I’ve got a gap between my teeth (which I like and choose to keep – arguing with my dentist every, single, time!) but at least they are straight and white!

I mean I’m picking guys that are either my age, or in some cases 6+ years older.  Hell, they’re no Mel Gibson but then, Mel Gibson is no Mel Gibson these days; and truth tell, I want to see some lines.  Craggy is my thing.  I’m not looking for a washboard stomach; I want to hold onto something at night.  Who wants to spoon with someone that is sharp edges..?

So what is with parade of dates with a mouth full of teeth?  It doesn’t matter how funny they are; or how nice they are.  I can’t be sticking my tongue in there – so that isn’t ever going to work.

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Thanks. Better check it out but it should be up today!