"AI-Powered." My Toothbrush Will Probably Ask Me To Prompt It Next.

I don't know exactly when it happened, but apparently, we've reached the point where absolutely everything is now powered by Artificial Intelligence. Not just the obvious things. Everything.

I swear if I walked into Bunnings tomorrow, I'd find an AI-powered garden hose that analyses my lawn's emotional wellbeing before deciding whether the roses deserve watering.

Every advertisement now has the same sales pitch. "Now with AI!" Wonderful. What was wrong with it before?

It used to be enough to tell me a vacuum cleaner sucked. That was literally its entire job. Now it apparently maps my house, learns my cleaning habits, predicts where the dust will appear next Tuesday and sends me performance reports. (While I don’t have a dust prediction system, I do have a robot vac lol)

All I want it to do is to vacuum the bloody floors!

Even toothbrushes are getting in on the act. Somewhere, someone is brushing their teeth while an app congratulates them for achieving an above-average molar performance score.

I don't need feedback from my toothbrush; I need it to remove yesterday's coffee stains.

Everything now promises to "learn." My television learns. My car learns. My phone learns. My coffee machine probably knows more about me than the Squeeze; and frankly, that's a little unsettling.

The funniest part is that companies don't even explain what the AI actually does anymore. They simply stick those two magical letters on the box and add another hundred dollars to the price.

It's become the modern equivalent of "low fat," "organic" or "gluten free."

AI mattresses.

AI pet bowls.

I'm waiting for AI toilet paper.

"It anticipates your needs before you sit down."

At some point we've got to reach peak stupidity. We'll buy an AI-powered kettle that refuses to boil because it has analysed our caffeine intake and decided we've had enough for the day.

Meanwhile, I'm still standing in my kitchen yelling at my robot vacuum because it's trapped itself under the same chair for the seventeenth time this month.

Apparently it's intelligent.

I'm not convinced.