Why Can't These Idiots Get Along..?

They always say it like it’s a movie trailer – Out Now. Watch this! “Evil will be answered.”

Answered by who? A man in a suit standing behind a podium pretending he’s in an action film while the rest of the world quietly updates its emergency contacts?

Every international conflict now sounds like two blokes in a pub car park yelling, “Say it again. SAY IT AGAIN.” Except these idiots have missiles.

The media doesn’t help. Everything is “fury”, “rage”, “humiliation”, “retaliation”, “final warning”. News headlines read like a WWE promo written by a caffeinated twelve-year-old. (Come to think of it, that would be funny!)

And meanwhile normal people are just trying to buy groceries without needing a small personal loan for tomatoes or fuel to get to the grocery store!

There’s something deeply absurd about world leaders threatening each other with “consequences” while ordinary people are sitting on the couch eating garlic bread wondering if World War III will interrupt whatever the viewing pleasure is that night.

Nobody powerful ever says:
“Perhaps everyone should calm the hell down.”

No. It’s always:
“We will respond.”
“We will not forget.”
“Evil will be answered.”

Fantastic. That sounds stable.

The frightening part isn’t even the threats anymore. It’s how performative it all feels. Politics has become theatre for angry people online. Every leader talks like they’re auditioning for the role of Tough Guy Number Three.

And social media claps like trained seals every time someone says something dramatic.

At this point, humanity isn’t being led.
It’s being comment - sectioned into oblivion.