Ahhhh! If I don't stop...

If I don't stop eating, I'll end up as fat as I was when I broke with the squeeze!

I'm so fat!!!  I'm eating everything!  I'm not even hungry!

So Monday, its diet time.  For real...   The upside is, so is my son and daughter.  We're not having anything with calories in it!  Nothing nice!  And I'm going back to boxing...

Damn fat genes!

Up and Down!!!

I'm sick of the up and down of brain "injury" [read brain damaged].  I mean if no one knew I was brain damaged, you would probably meet me for the first time, and think I was normal.  That in itself, can be frustrating!

I'm sick of beginning each conversation with "hello!! I have brain damage!" just so as the get it!

Oh well.  I keep trying at work even though its exhausting and I'm probably not much value.  I can't concentrate on more than one thing, and even then its a struggle...

Life is Funny!

Life is funny.   I'm back at work, and I think I could handle more hours.  I'm tired, but I suspect I was tired before I went to that fateful "we'll just close this shunt off and see..." last November.

Today I got to work by quarter to eight.  I feel happy.  Relatively so anyhow.  I'm feeling the love at work which is nice.  Far better than my boss who just doesn't know that your supposed to care about other people!  I had the chief medical officer come and ask how I was and the director of radiology came up while I was getting my coffee.  It felt good; although I cringed when the radiology guy said he been up to see my twice but I was asleep!  (More like I was out of it and I didn't want them to remember me like that!)

No drinking again; I'm always clear headed when I totally abstain.  The other day I drank with a friend and I was retarded the next day (or gave the appearance of it!).  So alcohol I can have only when someone comes around, and I have to really limit myself on a work night.

As for the 51 year old; player.  Don't think I will see him again.  Probably just as well...

I'm beginning to think I would just do better with my girlfriends...

Jeff Duff; boy is he thin...

On Friday night I went to see Jeff Duff doing Bowie.

He was thin as a rail, overtly gay and we had a great time! He got the crowd up on their feet and we stood there, dancing, in awe of how brilliant he is. 

We went out to dinner first at this place down the road which cooks Russian food.  Sound horrible, I know, but it was fabulous!

Then we came home...

Going to the Models....

I don't know who it is that knows.  I don't care.  But I bought 2 tickets to the Models tonight!

Yay!  They were so good when I saw them last time.  In fact the last time I saw them was one of the last times I went out with the Squeeze and the Carlton Crew.  We had such fun, groovin and rockin our arse's off.  It was one of the last times that the Squeeze felt like he belonged; at least wanted to belong.

I remember the first time I saw them.  I was 21, dressed like a cool twenties type woman. I was incredibly thin. Madly in love with my ex-husband no 2.

Now this time I go with the man of the moment.  And if not him, then one of my girlfriends.   In the end, they are probably worth more anyhow!