Today. Hump Day.

Well I guess it would be if I was at work...

This is week two of not working; I've decided to embrace it.  The house needs a good clean, the garden too. Which basically means all my time spent in this enforced hiatus, is spent cleaning and going to doctor's appointments! So I guess this kind of falls into both the Plus and Minus (house is spotless - plus; all my time is spent on house/garden - minus). 

Great heights. Great lows. It seems a really intense life I'm living! And yet strangely, I feel as though I'm not really living anything. I just biding time; almost until the end. But how does that work? I've got possibly years yet! It does my head in thinking about it.

So; I thought I would focus on Baxter...  Who doesn't have that long to live now; he has cancer poor baby. He is a beautiful boy with a big heart. Like my dog who lives with 4 cats; Baxter lives with 2 of them - who are just part and parcel of where he lives.

We were all shocked because Baxter's the youngest of all our assortment of dogs that live in the extended family. He is a baby by comparison, although doesn't look so now although he still full of life at the moment! 

 

Baxter. Ode to a beautiful boy.

After 1000's of dollars couldn't save him, they are just going to let him live out his life doing what he loves and I can think of no better way to go than that.

Life Going from Plus to Minus...

It's funny how life seems to run backwards. For all intents and purposes, I'm actually getting younger! Every week! The countdown is on until I've the mentality of a little kid! (trust me, I know, I just went out to visit my mother who is 85 and living in aged care - much to her dislike!) and we had the same conversations that we did last week, and the week before... The beauty of it for her is she doesn't realise.  Me however, it is a completely different experience.

The Squeeze, God bless his black heart, must be positively babyish!  And I'm keeping young by comparison.  I intend to keep score for a couple of blogs, ie... Plus. Minus....

And when I think about it, I was young once... Sigh, I may look like a crone now, but in my youth I was pretty good looking and nice too boot.  That is possibly why I have 3 husbands (plus) who are all ex husbands (minus) and were all by 30 or so, so I had the marrying down pat and decided it actually wasn't for me!  

The middle husband broke a record of love turning to hate soon enough, and it seems the dislike hasn't diminished in all these years.  Enough said (my mother always said 'if you can't say something good about them, don't say anything at all'. 

Husband 1 was fantastic; we were just too young; but he got killed in a motorbike accident (minus). Husband no 3, I loved for a long time, but my dicky brain and going in and out of hospital took its toll (on me... not him - which is strange). He no longer speaks to me (minus) which is sad. I thought we did divorce well.

Now I live with the Squeeze, who I like a lot. Friends we began as and mostly, I still feel as though he is my best friend.  My three children are grown; 2 boys and a girl and I relive divorce through this generation. My older son is divorcing now, but I love my daughter in law and her kids (minus). My other son just got engaged (plus). My girl has given me two perfect angels, one of whom is a replica of her at the same age (plus). Here he is...

Isn't he adorable?!!

And I wait and see what fate has in store for all of us...

Life is serendipitous; in a weird way

As life whizzes by (I'm 60 now - wtf?) I'm only left to wonder if everything happens for a reason, or if life is a boundless journey of serendipity!  I mean I've experienced the normal person's life's 'up's and down's'; more than most I'd say but still, at least I feel like the pendulum has swung in my favor more often than not.

So; in the minus column, we have my brain damage. That's a pretty big minus I'd say... Except if I didn't go through this, I'd be living the same life I had 10 years ago. Not that it didn't take some bloody awful years in the interim; but now I feel as though my life is going in the right direction.

I've gone from a spend thrift with nothing to my name (mind you, I had a great friggin wardrobe!) to owning a house.  I've changed from a person who liked animals well enough; if I paused long enough to think about them. But not inside... never inside; to a person who is now the proud owner of a dog and 4 cats that all live inside and I can't imagine my life without them (including the newest one Sheriff, helping me blog...)

My life continues on this weird adding to the plus column and taking away again. This is what it is like; what it's always been like!  This week, they rang me to say the girl at work I was replacing while off sick is better and she'll be back at work full time - so I don't have to come in.  Minus.  Then out of the blue, I get this email of a lawyer who says the hospital, without taking the blame, are going to pay me a sizable amount. Plus.

Weird. Pluses and Minuses. That's my life.

Sitting here; listening…

I find the office banter boring. I’m sitting in a cold break room, freezing my buns off all to the sound of people whining about work. In reality they should just be enjoying the downtime. 

I am. This is the reality of my life. Boring. Mundane.  The same. 

And I like it. 

Friday night. At work.

I love Friday night; or I used to. I’d leave work about 4.30, go the 10 minutes down the highway to Oakleigh and be home! Oh I used to love it. My house was as sharp as a razor; showroom cleanliness! But of course I had no animals then; let alone the dog and 3 cats we have now!

Depends what was going on but generally, about 4.45 I’d have a glass of red in hand and be mooching around the kitchen, generally dreaming up some culinary delight!

Of course in those days I was a Project Manager living in Melbourne. Now days I’m a pleb so I just work when they want me. 

Every so often, like now - sitting here with zip patients to welcome the clock is crawling…  Idiots. Don’t they know it’s Friday night!!!