Scammers Have Made Answering the Phone a Bloody Risk

What a miserable fucking achievement: creating a world where someone rings to say they’re helping you, and your first thought has to be, “Are you trying to rob me?”

I nearly fell for it. A man with an English accent rang claiming to be from my bank. My account had been compromised, he said. My money was at risk. It was imperative that I move it immediately. He kept pushing the urgency, and when someone tells you your savings are in danger, it’s surprisingly easy to get caught up in doing whatever supposedly needs to be done. 

The sounds behind them sound like a big bank. People rushing, conversations, phones ringing...

Except there was a little niggling voice in my head. Something wasn’t right, I wasn't quite sure. That doubt saved me.

But what about the people who don’t get that warning? Or who do, but the bloke on the phone sounds so convincing that they push it aside? He knows how to answer their questions. He sounds calm while they’re panicking. He’s supposedly the person who can stop something terrible happening. You can see how easily someone could follow his instructions and hand their savings straight to the bastard thief.

And then comes the inevitable commentary. “I would never fall for that.” Congratulations on your imaginary performance in a situation you weren’t actually in. It’s easy to spot the trap when someone has already pointed it out. Quite different when you’re frightened and someone is talking you through an urgent “solution”. As it worked out, I transferred money into my partner's account until I worked out what was what.

The scum have little care what that money represents. Years of working. Going without. A buffer against the next bill, the next emergency, the next thing life throws at you. They’ll take the lot and leave someone sitting at their kitchen table wondering how the hell they’re going to manage. Then they’ll ring the next person.

That’s what makes me so angry. The theft, obviously, but also what they’ve done to everyday trust. We’re suspicious of phone calls, messages, emails - even offers of help. We have to keep shutting out outside voices because we can’t be sure who is speaking or what they want. And when it all goes to hell in a handbasket, the big banks don't want to know you. They couldn't care less. Even though they see you drawing big chunks of money. It's not their fault. It's criminal the way they behave.

I’m grateful for that little niggling voice. But nobody should have to rely on a flicker of doubt to protect everything they’ve worked for. And anyone who has lost money deserves some bloody compassion. The shame belongs to the calculating pricks who stole it.

The more I hear of it, the more I'm hoping for a beekeeper to come into the world...