Zip It Up And Catch The Damned Plane.

Fitness influencer Caitlin Lyndon says a Virgin Australia employee asked her to zip her jacket over her sports bra before boarding. She believes she was singled out because of her fake breast size, saying her similarly dressed companion wasn’t stopped. Virgin says it has apologised for her experience. Pity, I liked the experience of reading about it! lol

My first response? Zip it up and get on the bloody plane. You already have the jacket. Nobody is asking you to fashion a modesty garment out of a boarding pass and three luggage tags, Ms Magiver! Pull the zip, find your seat, and join the rest of us in wondering whether our knees will survive the journey.

Personally, I’m tired of the Instagram aesthetic being treated as something the rest of us should applaud. The posing, the presentation, the endless expectation of an audience. And they are fucking ugly. Fake! 

Wear what you like, but I’m allowed to find the whole performance exhausting. I’m travelling to Melbourne. My ticket didn’t include compulsory enthusiasm for somebody else’s look.

There is, however, a detail that deserves an answer. If two passengers wore equivalent outfits and only one was stopped, the airline should explain the distinction. The reporting also says its dress requirements don’t expressly prohibit sports bras. Clear rules, applied consistently, would help everyone.

We seem to have developed a dreadful habit of taking every unpleasant interaction and inflating it until it fills the internet. Must be light on for news. A stranger can be abrupt. A staff member can make a poor decision. You can feel embarrassed. All of those things deserve some perspective before we summon the entire nation to adjudicate a jacket.

I’d like airlines to spend their energy explaining delays, answering customers and getting luggage to the same city as its owner. I’d also like passengers to remember that shared spaces involve other people, most of whom are tired, uncomfortable and desperately hoping boarding will finish. They're not there to look at or comment on you tits. Sheesh.

By all means, challenge an inconsistent rule. But forgive me if I decline to join the outrage committee.

I’ve got a plane to catch, and considerably bigger things to give a fuck about.